We were in a rush. Like usual. It was a typical school morning in our house—get the kids dressed, lunches packed, teeth brushed, find the lost shoes and convince the children to put them on their feet—hoorah. Grab those backpacks, everyone, and don’t forget your sweater, your water bottle, your homework, your hugs.
By the time my people were safely squirreled away at desks across town and I returned home to a pile of their breakfast dishes, my own stomach grumbled.
Oh yeah. I should eat, too.
So I glanced at a plate of picked-over French toast and considered my options.
Spend twenty minutes making myself a fresh and nutritious breakfast—while I’ve got deadlines at my desk and an even bigger pile of laundry to sort and about a hundred emails to scan, tick-tock, tick-tock.
Or.
Eat my child’s leftovers in 30 seconds, tops. So what if I’m intolerant to the gluten and the sugar gives me cramps and the entire plate is cold and congealed by now but hey, it’s sitting right in front of me and it’d be such a shame to waste it—and we all know busy women can’t be picky, right?
Or can they?
“Haven’t you yet learned that your body is the home of the Holy Spirit God gave you, and that he lives within you? Your own body does not belong to you. For God has bought you with a great price. So use every part of your body to give glory back to God because he owns it” (1 Corinthians 6:19–20, TLB).
As moms buried in the daily grind, our well-being comes down to a choice: take care of ourselves, or don’t. And I’m ashamed of how often I pick the wrong one.
You, too?
Understand—French toast is just a symptom. “Leftovers” go way beyond the food we eat. They’re found in every aspect of our family lives.
Do you insist your kids get nine hours of sleep but you’re lucky if you run on five?
Do you buy new clothes for your children but only shop thrift stores for yourself (if you shop for yourself at all)?
Do you schedule play dates for the kids but put off planning meaningful visits with your own friends because, hey, who has time for that when you’re all running the kids everywhere, right?
Do you keep the pediatrician on speed dial but refuse to take yourself in when you catch the same crud from your kids? Bonus points if you’ve actually finished off their pinkeye drops instead of getting a prescription for your own.
And do you give your time, energy and attention to your children, your husband, your dog for crying out loud all day long but then feel guilty for wanting an hour to yourself?
You’re not alone. Too many of us treat ourselves like second-class citizens within our own families. I’m great at this—or at least I used to be. And here is what I’ve learned the hard way.
Yes, it’s good to give. It’s good to serve. It’s good to love selflessly and humbly.
But it’s not good to treat yourself like poo.
{That’s a quote. Write it down.}
The problem with many of us loving moms is that we’ll give to our kids what we won’t give to ourselves. They get the goods and we get the scraps. They flourish while we fade. Why? Because it’s our job to care for our children, right?! God gave us this responsibility, and we are going to take it seriously, I mean these young people aren’t even ours! They’re His! They are God’s very own children!!
Ah yes. They are.
But so are you.
And far be it from any of us moms to treat one of God’s children like poo.
{Another quote. I’m full of ‘em.}
God values sacrifice, absolutely. But he values your relationship more.
“I want you to show love, not offer sacrifices. I want you to know me more than I want burnt offerings” (Hosea 6:6, NLT).
The truth is, it’s hard to be in a healthy relationship with God when you’re burnt out. When you’re feeding yourself like crap and sleeping like junk and devaluing the person God created within you.
You are a mother, yes—a good one.
Yet you are first and foremost God’s treasured possession.
So tell me.
How are you treating it lately?
You are worth more than your child’s leftovers. Not because you’re entitled or indulgent, heaven help, but because when you serve and give at the consistent expense of your own needs, you quickly erode your ability to serve and give well. Which makes you no good for anybody—your kids especially.
Good moms take care of their children.
Great moms take care of themselves, too.
Remind me of that next time I’m about to stick my fork in a cold bite of somebody else’s breakfast, eh? And I promise I’ll do the same for you.
Much love,
Becky
What to Read Next: For the Exhausted Mom Who Doesn’t Have Time to Read Her Bible
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