She twirled. She leapt. She skipped across that stage with red hair piled high in a dainty bun, her silver white tutu glimmering like the starry sky. My beautiful girl—my ballerina.
This was our daughter’s first dance recital, the finale to six months of lessons and rehearsals and crazy costume fittings. My husband and I sat among a crowd of fellow parents, all of us applauding so hard and grinning so wide, our hands and cheeks ached long after the curtain fell.
Sure, it wasn’t the Koch Theater, but it might as well have been. These were our kids, our superstars. Everything—from memorizing the routines, to facing an audience, to navigating backstage without Mom—was an accomplishment. We were giddy proud of our daughter.
And we might’ve missed the whole thing, if it had been up to her.
Because she hated her dance class.
Oh, she loves dance. Just not this particular class. Last spring, she fell head over slippers for beginner ballet at the YMCA. So for the school year, frugal mom here enrolled in the community Park and Rec dance program, which was half the cost of the YMCA. Hey, dance is dance, right?
Nope. Not according to the ballerina.
“Can I please stay home?” She begged one Thursday evening near the start of the dance season. Her body went limp, and she resisted my tug to get her leotard over her hips.
“Why? I thought you love ballet.”
“I liked the YMCA. I want to go back there.”
“Well, sweetheart, we’re trying this new class now. Give it a chance. You might learn to like it.”
But she didn’t. There were too many kids, she said. Eighteen little girls running around the dance floor, paying no heed to the teacher. Her class at the Y had only four students. It was quieter. She’d rather play at home with her sister, her dolls, her coloring books. She’d rather help me clean the bathroom.
“Really?” My eyebrows shot up. “Scrubbing toilets beats dance class?”
“Yes.” She frowned. “I don’t want to go.”
Week after week, we drove to class anyway. She tolerated it well enough, but she never exhibited the same enthusiasm she once had for pirouettes and pliés. So I wondered—should I force her to go?
“Yes.” My husband stood at the kitchen stove, browning meat for the tacos we planned to eat after dance class. I jiggled car keys in my hand, wishing I could hang them up and help chop lettuce instead.
“But she’s not enjoying it,” I reasoned. “She’s only five years old. What’s the point in making her continue an activity she doesn’t love, when there’s so little time outside of school to just be a kid?”
“I understand that. I do,” my husband sympathized. “But where do we draw the line? She can’t back out of an activity every time she’s dissatisfied. We have a chance here to teach her an important life lesson. In our family, we keep our commitments.”
Commitments.
Does anybody really honor a commitment anymore? In our modern, fast-paced age, deals are easily broken. People change jobs, change majors, upgrade their homes, their cell phones, their wives. So what if we already paid the 40 dollar costume fee. My baby wants out of dance class and darnitall, I want her to be happy! Commitment, coshmmitment. Loyalty is outdated!
But thankfully, our God is timeless.
“…being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus,” (Philippians 1:6, emphasis mine).
Why do we honor our commitments? Because God honors his to us. He does not give up on us when we’re no longer fun and interesting. He sees us through to completion. I am so grateful for that. Aren’t you?
So we stuck out the full season of dance class. We weren’t legalistic about it. On occasion I’d let our daughter stay home if she had a headache or a cold. But her dad and I made it clear that skipping was not to become a habit, and if she missed dance this week then she would go next week unless she happened to be bleeding or feverish.
It wasn’t always easy, but it was worthwhile.
“Sweetheart, you were stunning.” I beamed at my daughter as we drove away from the recital hall. She held a flower bouquet in her lap, a reward from her dad. “Did you have fun?”
“Yes.” She flashed a shy smile.
“You know dance class is done now. The recital was the end for this year.”
“I know.”
“Are you happy about that?”
She rolled her eyes and grinned. “Oh, yeah! Can we go back to the YMCA now?”
“Yes, love.” I laughed. “You’ve earned it.”
My child may never become a professional dancer, just as yours probably won’t make a career out of soccer or swimming or science club. But they can be well trained for a lifetime of loyalty and integrity. It starts with making smart choices about where we invest their time, then teaching our kids to follow through.
Until the day of Christ Jesus—and a silver tutu parade.
If this post encouraged you, please pass it on. You might also like Good Moms Keep Their Promises, God Doesn’t Ration Candy Bars, and When Mom Wears a Dress.
Linking up with: The Better Mom, Playdates With God, The Mom Initiative, Titus 2sdays, Grace at Home, Women Living Well, Rethinking My Thinking, What He’s Done Wednesday, Wedded Wednesday, and Things I Can’t Say.
Great post. My parents were the same way with me as a child, and I am so glad they wouldn’t let me give up just because things weren’t easy or even always fun.
My parents, too! They kept me in piano lessons when I wavered in grade school, and I’m so grateful they did. I went on to major in music in college. Thanks to Mom and Dad’s wisdom!
Good for you! I think it’s great that she learned she could follow something through, even if it wasn’t her favorite. And you are so right about how easy it is to pick something up and then drop it these days!
She was so darn pretty on that stage, Erica. Think of what you have to look forward to! (And don’t get me wrong – my daughter loves hunting with her dad, too. She’s a mix of girly girl and tomboy.) 🙂
And no one knew all that was poured into that brief, shining moment, cheering her on the stage. Did they? Well, I’m so glad you gave us that glimpse, Becky. What a wonderful mom you are. Swallowing the urge to over-protect and indulge for the sake of a daughter with character and perseverance. Well done, my friend!
You are so right, Beth – all that was stored up in my busting heart that day was completely unknown to everybody around us. Made it all the sweeter. And that urge to over-protect and indulge is a lot harder to swallow than I imagined it would be before I was a mom. 🙂
Yep, I still struggle to over-protect and my boys are 22, 19 and 17, Becky! Yikes! Thanks so much for coming by my place and linking-up too. You are a friend that I cherish!
This is a hard one, isn’t it? I often wonder what is thinking when whiny I try to get out of commitments. Ill think about ballet next time 🙂
I get whiny, too, Laura. 🙂 So glad I’m not alone.
Oh, I’ve been there many times…. with ballet and the girl who figured out she could dance “bigger” at home with the praise music and her dress up clothes, ” with piano lessons and my want-to-be-a-drummer-instead, with softball…. your husband’s advice echoes my own man’s wisdom. Glad for those guys who see the big picture. I tend to want to just cut out early for the sake of simplifying life. And where would I be if Christ had cut out early on his trek to Calvary? Love the way you write, friend! And I LOVED your birthday/mama anniversary post at the Mom Initiative, too. I felt sappy just reading it. Happy birthday to your girls!
Oh, you are my soul sister, Alicia! And to think we have similar husbands, too. 🙂 Thank you for stopping by here regularly and taking a few minutes out of your crazy, busy, unsimplified life!
Hey Becky!
I teach dance for the Fox Cities Dance Acadamy (housed out of the apple creek and heart of the valley YMCA’s). Great dance programs, but if you’re looking for less of a committment and no costume/recital, we’ll be offering some quick 7-week sessions out of the Apple Creek YMCA on the North side starting this fall.
Good to know, Addie! Thank you!
🙂 Love this! We are the same way with our kids. It’s one of those important life lessons. 🙂 visiting from PYHO. new follower!! 🙂
Welcome, Alissa! Thanks for joining me here!
We’re going through something similar with my boys. They are in a new soccer league, not the one they’ve been in for 3 seasons(or 1 for my youngest). And they aren’t thrilled. But if they want to play this season, they need to play in this league. And they can go back to their old one next season. I’m trying to get them to suck it up and realize that the point is that they are playing.
Oh Becky how I wholeheartedly agree with you! It is such an important thing we can teach our children and it seems to be lost somewhere in these past few generations. Keep up the good work mama, your sweet girls may be my sweet boys only options for good wives some day. 😉 Praise God for, I love the way you put it, being timeless! I am certainly a FULL TIME commitment. I am so thankful He takes it on day after day!
You must be so happy and proud watching your daughter on her first recital. It’s a good thing that you decided not to quit. We should not quit no matter how hard a situation is. It’s a good thing too that you never gave up on her. I’m glad that she’s enjoying what she’s doing now.