I know. Some of you love your elf. It’s a favorite memory-builder for the kids, and you probably already created a Pinterest board of clever ideas for where to hide the little guy this year.
That’s great.
For you.
But I just can’t do it. Can. Not.
Why?
Because as much fun as you have with your elf, for me it’s just another thing I’ve gotta add to my Christmas to-do list. And I’m determined to scale back this year, for the love of Jesus.
No, really. For the love of Jesus.
Here’s the thing. We all have choices, right? You wouldn’t dare think of yanking the elf, but you might skip the white elephant lunch at work. And I might blow off the cookie exchange but there’s no way I’d miss volunteering for the school Christmas party. And so on. Of all the Christmas traditions and activities out there for us moms to grab, nobody does them all. We each decide what’s more important and what we can let slide.
But I don’t think we do it well enough.
My December agenda is jam-packed with anything from church brunches to gift wrapping parties to nursing home singalongs. Some to-do’s are non-negotiable, I mean, I can’t exactly ditch the mandatory school Christmas concert, nor would I want to.
But what about the stuff we add to our holiday calendars that causes more stress than joy joy joy?
Is it time to cut it out?
In my job as a freelance writer, I recently interviewed a family counselor on the topic of holiday stress. She said the secret to a merry Christmas is goal setting. Determine one or two objectives you want to accomplish this Christmas season, then filter all your activities through them.
For example, let’s say your goal is to relax and spend quality time with family. If addressing 100 Christmas cards helps you reach that goal, then by all means do it. If not, uh, fuh-get-about-it.
Or maybe your goal is to give to the needy. Will spending half a day stringing lights on the trees in your front yard help you accomplish that? Hmm. Probably not, unless you’re collecting canned goods from every car that drives by to gawk.
Think about it. Examining our Christmas to-do’s in light of one or two key goals—it’s life changing. Sanity saving. Brilliant and freeing!
And really, really hard.
Because so many of us have been duped into thinking we need to do it all—the shopping, the baking, the parties, the family outings—in order to make the most of this fleeting, magical season.
But I don’t want to make the most of it.
I want to make less of it.
Less on my to-do list, less running, less stress. I want room for laughter, snuggling, and stillness—to relish in the wonder of a God who willingly plummeted from his heavenly comforts to receive us as a helpless child in a manger. He did that for me. He did it for you.
So my goals this Christmas? (1) To celebrate Jesus, and (2) to build memories with my husband and kids. Technically the elf on the shelf could fit into that second goal. But I have sugar cookies to bake. Nativities to assemble. Paper countdown chains to cut, staple, and hang.
So I’ll leave the elf to you, my friend. He’s your thing. And I have mine. And together we are going to enjoy a very merry Christmas that matters.
“For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace” (Isaiah 9:6).
Blessings,
Becky
Ugghhh…this is the one thing about Christmas I do NOT enjoy. The ever elusive, mom-mongering ” Christmas to-do’s!” I say “Mom=Mongering” because it’s not dad’s trying to jam the calendar with something festive throughout the month. We mommas ought to take a cue from our hubbies on this one, if not many other things.
Our oldest is 5 and last year was the first year I finally admitted that we would have a much more enjoyable Christmas if we DIDN’T try to fit as many activities into the 23 days leading up to Christmas Eve but rather, pick two or three favorite experiences and leave it at that! So, for us, we’re still going to bake those good ol’ chocolate chip cookies for family and friends (I am way too Type A for anything more involved than slabbing some gew on a pan and waiting for the timer to ding – lol!). We’ll also spend one evening enjoying a Christmas light’s display at a local community park, and each day we’ll be opening a new box from our Nativity Scene advent calendar to keep the focus on Christ.
My mom gifted us the advent calendar a couple years back. It’s a magnetic Manger scene surrounded by little wooden boxes which contain a piece of the scene for each day of the month. We have two kids (1 yr and 5 yrs). Our 5 yr old absolutely loves this and has come to learn the reason for the season partly through using this calendar each December.
Aside from these tried and true traditions, I will encourage one new experience per year. It will be different each year so we can see what we really enjoy over other stuff. This year, it’s the Nutcracker Ballet. My mother in-law offered to take our daughter and me for an afternoon in the City this month. It sounded quite nice and since our daughter is all about dance lately, I thought it thought it would be a nice excursion for all the girls. That’s our one “new” experience for this Christmas. The boys will have to come up with their own or will probably be happy just relaxing at home that day 🙂
I will look forward to following your Christmas series and will share the post on fb this week! Happy Thanksgiving!
What a fantastic approach, JoLynn! One new experience a year so nothing becomes overwhelming… yet there’s still room for your few favorite traditions. I like it. Some friends recently told me about a Christmas lights display at the Green Bay Botanical Gardens, and I think we might choose that as our new experience. You’ve inspired me. 🙂
I love the idea of filtering things through a couple holiday goals. We aren’t overly busy with just one child who is 2 but I’m sure in a few years, that will change. This will be something to remember. 🙂
(visiting from the Mom 2 Mom Mondays link up)
Thanks for stopping over from the linkup, Julie! And yes, certain things are more hectic when the kids are toddlers, but as they grow, there are more activities to add with school and piano recitals and many, many great things. It’s just a matter of figuring out what non-required activities we’re willing to let go for a season in order to maintain happy hearts. Blessings!
Love this! The elf isn’t on our shelf either 🙂
Misty! Hi, friend 🙂 It’s not on our shelf either and Becky, I absolutely love this post!
Hi Becky! I think goal-setting definitely helps to cut out the clutter. I never really think about Christmas as being a time to do that…hmm. I guess I should! I know that getting ready to shop and get out packages on time is my biggest stressor. If I set goals for each day to get me to that goal, I think I’d feel better.
Thank you for that great tip!
From Playdates,
Ceil
Hi, Ceil! I agree – it hadn’t occurred to me to view Christmas in light of goal-setting, either. It’s a game changer! Thanks for stopping by from Laura’s place!
So this is the first year we ARE doing “the elf”…well, more clearly…”the elves”. I’m not all about the crazy elf that spies on the family and needs Pintrest boards. So I’ve ordered two little elves to be “Kindness Elves”. They will appear every morning with a note regarding kindness or generosity, focused on Jesus. (And since I write the notes, I control the schedule, calendar, etc.) So many of the notes will be simple…like “find 2 ways to be kind to your sister today”, “do something kind for daddy today”, or “call Aunt Stephanie and tell her how much you and Jesus love her”. Yes, some days (days I have planned…) will be more involved. “Invite the single neighbor over for a meal”. “Buy a toy and donate it to a child in need”. Peppered with bible verses, I hope to make THIS a tradition over all of the other activities. Because you are right…too much of a good thing isn’t always good.
Cristen, this is wonderful! I love the kindness elves idea! What a fantastic way to create a fun tradition for your kids and yet to make it all about God’s love. You’ll have to update me on how the kiddos enjoyed this. Hugs to you, my friend!
Cristen, I wish the elf were advertised this way! Luv it!! You’ve just helped soften me to the elf on the shelf concept. Why am I surprised though? Doesn’t our Lord and Father make room for goodness in all things? Lol☺Great approach.
Hi Becky! I met you at She Speaks and I read this post just now. Love your insight and wisdom on this topic. I too want to focus on Jesus this Christmas and not get caught up in too much stuff that just causes stress! I wrote a blog post last week along the same line of thought. Check it out if you have a moment. God bless you and may your Christmas be extra special this year!
http://wp.me/p4jQvY-e1
Hi, Lisa! How great to hear from you! You’ve blessed me by stopping by. I’ll read your post next! Blessings!
It’s good to let things go. I can’t wait for your new series!
I wrote about the Elf last year(right at this time of year, I’ll have to share it again, I think). My whole problem with the Elf(and with the Santa is watching you thing) is that I feel like we give each other gifts at Christmas to celebrate the gift God gave us in Jesus. A gift we most certainly don’t deserve. So, God can give us the greatest gift ever when we were “naughty” but our kids have to earn some plastic pieces of junk and have an elf who tattles on them if they aren’t perfect? It just doesn’t feel right to me.
And yes, I was told to lighten up by some people when I wrote about that. I realize that it’s just plain fun for so many, but it just never sat right with me.
Well said, indeed! There are no elves on our shelves, and as the mother of a 8 month old, I am already realizing how different this Christmas will be from last. We won’t be doing as much, but it will be even more special as we celebrate Jesus’ birthday with our long-awaited baby! Thanks for this article – and this series, Becky!
i really enjoyed reading this. My kids, 5 and 8, have begged for the last 2 years for an elf and I haven’t been swayed. I feel bad about saying no, but when I asked them why they wanted one, they said because all of their friends have one.
I also really like the ideas from Cristen about the kindness elves, and from Jolynn about adding one new experience.