I’m slapping a restraining order on the tooth fairy. She’s trying to steal my baby.
When our daughter lost her first tooth last fall, we cheered. That bitty gap in her bottom row was new and endearing. The second tooth we viewed as a celebration of courage. It popped out during Sunday school, without Mom or Dad on hand to soothe the trauma. Our girl earned a five-dollar bill under her pillow that night, for bravery.
But the third tooth. Well, that was different. The third one sank my heart.
Because it was a central incisor—a big top tooth, smack in the front of her face. When it went loose a few weeks ago, I encouraged her not to rush the process. No need to wiggle it out too fast. Let those chompers uproot in their own sweet time. Yes, let’s just be content to deny the inevitable.
But when the darn thing hung by a thread and my beautiful child came running from the bathroom one evening last week clutching her front tooth in a crumpled tissue, grinning so wide and so proud, I took a long look at that gaping hole and knew.
She is changing.
Suddenly, this one missing tooth transformed my delicate ballerina into an Appalachian moonshiner. Her smile is a jigsaw puzzle. Her baby face, forever gone.
And I didn’t get to say goodbye.
Yes, I know. This toothless stage is a necessary part of her childhood. It’s the next step on her journey to maturity, toward the ultimate beauty God intends. And yet I find myself mourning the passing of her earlier years, as though they are who she is, not this hillbilly imposter.
But then I remember. I’m growing up, too. We all are. And awkward stages are part of the deal.
“Then we will no longer be immature like children. We won’t be tossed and blown about by every wind of new teaching. We will not be influenced when people try to trick us with lies so clever they sound like the truth. Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church,” (Ephesians 4:14–15, NLT).
The purpose of living is to mature. For me, that means discerning more and more what I’ll allow to fill my head and spill out my mouth. Whether it’s learning to speak respectfully to my husband, to trust God with my fears, or to deny my selfish nature again and again and again for the sake of nurturing my children—these are my pulled teeth, yanked one by one until slowly God sprouts stronger, deeper-rooted virtues in their place.
Do you see? Those ugly black gaps aren’t empty space. They’re room to grow. How can I grieve yesterday’s little girl when the one standing before me today is closer to God’s design?
So, on second thought, I’ll let the tooth fairy in. She has my daughter’s best interests at heart. Besides, after that last tooth bit the dust, its neighbor shifted oddly to the center, and now my little moonshine brewer bears a freakish resemblance to Nanny McPhee.
Tooth fairy—help me out, sister. That tusk has got to go.
Blessings,
Becky
Growing up is an amazing thing! Both for us parents and our kids. 🙂 Btw, I’m totally terrified (semi-grossed out) of the teeth losing stage!
So was I, Erica! But now that it’s here, it’s not so bad. Kind of fun, actually. I’m amazed at how my daughter takes it all in stride and has no squeamish problems pulling her own teeth. And of course she never doubted for a moment that she remains beautiful through it all. I love that about her. 🙂
Good news! The fourth tooth is out. My lovely girl is now a toothless wonder. I’m snapping lots of pictures. This stage, too, is fleeting!
I’m smitten with this analogy; thank you! Visiting from The Wellspring.
Thank you for visiting, Brandee!
It truly is so hard to let our little ones grow into the adult-sized women and men they are meant to become. I’m seeing the latter side of that grieving process. I want to recall the days when losing their teeth was all that I (we) lost. I think it’s the loss of their innocence and sweetness that I am still grieving. But as you’ve so profoundly pointed out, Becky, there are greater things coming to replace those cherished qualities. I need to remember this, my friend, and I’m so glad it’s you that has gently reminded me. 🙂
I so value your perspectives, Beth. Thank you for sharing your thoughts of what comes ahead. I’d like to think I’ll have some of these challenges figured out as my kids grow older, but you remind me it’s more a matter of continually honing our skills to face the challenges in faith when they come. You are a blessing to me!
Thanks so much for linking this awesome post up over at Wedded Wed, Becky! I love it and you too! 🙂
I have a really hard time with my babies getting older!
And yet they just grow more beautiful! 🙂
You had me at the first sentence ((grin)). I seriously love your storytelling, Becky. I remember those days of the gap-toothed wonder. Sweet, sweet days. We just had our last orthodontist appointment for my 14 today after school.
That is more expensive than the tooth fairy.
Ugh. Our days in the ortho’s office are coming eventually, too, Laura! Thanks for the reminder to appreciate the less expensive stage of dental development. 🙂
Wow…I continue to be amazed by how your posts speak so clearly to even me – a non-mom. Your scripture reference speaks so intently to situations from my own life, even in the past few years. I love how you used this stage of a child’s life to signify growth not just loss. Thank you for sharing. You have to send me some pics. I know she’s a cutie pie!
I will send pictures, Monica! It’s always great to hear from you here. 🙂
I realized today that my oldest is a quarter of the way to 18, it’s literally a blink of an eye isn’t it?
A blink…yes, sniff, sniff!
The phase of the missing front teeth (I’m laughing over the “Appalachian Moonshiner” reference … wish I had thought of it!) is my favorite. Both of our children had school photos taken with those two teeth missing. Exquisite design from God.
Thanks for your beautiful illustrations on something we all need to understand and take in stride as easily as a 6-year old does with her missing teeth and the hope of “new ones” growing in.
So true, Amy…I do need to take things in stride as beautifully as my kids do. I’m always learning from them!
Room to grow. This is so true. My daughter found another loose tooth last night, so this is particularly timely for me to read.
Those darn teeth… one after the other. All for a good purpose, though!
Such a great way to put it- room to grow.
🙂
Oh, Becky, I just returned from a week with my five at the beach and as I watched other people’s little ones toddle around in swim diapers while my whole crew jumped in the waves, I battled the, “Oh, my goodness, my baby’s not a baby anymore!” syndrome. LOVE your wisdom about “the gaps” —This line is AMAZING–“Do you see? Those ugly black gaps aren’t empty space. They’re room to grow. How can I grieve yesterday’s little girl when the one standing before me today is closer to God’s design?” Powerful, friend. THANK YOU. When are you gonna write that book? I’ll be first in line to buy it!
Oh, did you splash in some waves for me, Alicia? My chilly Wisconsin bones are longing for a day in the sun! That book… when are you going to write yours? I’ll pre-order it today. 🙂
I remember so well those years with my little one, who is now a married woman. Sounds like yours is entering that fascinating–sometimes maddening–season between childhood and adulthood. Squeeze the goodness out of each day, for they will fly by.
Squeeze the goodness out of each day – thank you, Dayle, I love the way you put that. Because each day has goodness and frustrations, but my objective should be to wring out the good parts. So wise.
Such a beautiful post. I also wrote about the difficulty in letting go of my babies this week so this one hits home for me. There is beauty in each phase (even the toothless ones!), isn’t there. That’s what I have to keep reminding myself.
Beauty in each phase, yes, Tricia! I try hard to focus on it. We just captured those missing teeth in our annual birthday photo session, so I’m celebrating them and will be reminded for years to come.
I cried… It is so difficult to see our babies growing up, yet as you said they are walking “toward the ultimate beauty God intends”.
Your posts inspire me! Thanks!!
Thank you for reading, Rejane!
Oh Becky, what a beautiful post… I LOVED it. I never would have thought of the gap being there to leave room for growth. I love how, as always, you see God in every detail of life!
Thanks for linking up with What He’s Done Wednesday…
Watching them grow up is SO HARD. But oh, the lessons we learn along the way! And it doesn’t stop once they’ve gotten all their permanent teeth, either. Thank you for giving us all a new way to think about those “ugly” spaces. Room to grow!! Yes! That’s it!! 🙂
I love your post. This is so touching, and my little boy is about to lose his first tooth any day now. I’ll have to remember this blog post when he does.
You’re right I’m growing as a mother right along with my kids. I love that you threw that reminder in for me.
I’m so glad you started blogging. I would love to have some images to post to Pinterest to get your messages heard by more people! Your posts are well worth reading.