From the day she was born, I promised.
“Your sister is tiny now, but she’ll grow fast. Soon, not too long from now, she’ll be able to play with you. She’ll run and jump and share your puzzles and dolls. You’ll see.”
“Really?” My firstborn, then just a couple weeks past her third birthday, gazed in tender awe at her new baby sister, the long-awaited stranger.
“Yes, sweetheart. Someday, she’ll be your best friend.”
Someday. It seemed so far off in those early months when we juggled two different stages under one roof. This one needed macaroni and potty training while the other needed to be held and shushed and fed constantly. Big girl begged for popsicles and library books. Baby girl wailed and blew out diapers and woke every hour.
But now.
Nearly three years later, I stand at the kitchen counter mixing cookie dough. My helpers abandon their measuring cups and flee to the table, where a paper bunny craft captures their equal attention. Let’s do it together, I hear one say. Okay! chirps the other.
They giggle. They chatter. They debate the best way to color in the eyes, with purple marker? Blue? I roll buttery oatmeal balls in my fingers and smile.
This is what I waited for.
Since we drove our little one home from the birthing ward—no, even before that—in the hours of tearful prayer for a second child, the months of hoping for those double pink lines. We longed for another blessing to swaddle and love. A companion for our firstborn.
And now here they are.
Friends.
I love how they love each other.
Oh sure, they squabble sometimes. What siblings don’t? Yet their camaraderie is so bright, so natural, it outshines the bickering. I watch them take turns smearing a glue stick across brown paper, and it occurs to me—these girls were designed for each other.
“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be,” (Psalm 139:13–16).
Our God is flawlessly intentional. My children must have been placed together in our family on purpose. What a tremendous opportunity I have, as their mom, to nurture a relationship that God himself ordained.
Have you ever thought of your kids that way?
It’s why I tell my girls, “We’re a team!” and “God gave us to each other.” I teach them to encourage, not compete. I make them share toys and hold hands after a fight. I sneak M&Ms into their palms when I catch an act of kindness. All for the sake of their solidarity.
In a blur of years to come, I picture my girls whispering secrets across bunk beds long past light out. They’ll borrow each other’s sweaters, drive together to the basketball game, and bawl their eyes out when college takes one away.
I know. Because I have sisters, too.
And one day, when my girls are grown and independent and no longer required to breathe the same air, I pray they will, in fact, choose each other.
As lifelong friends.
Earlier on the morning of our cookie baking/bunny pasting scene, I stood at the bathroom mirror and punched this text message into my phone:
“I just plucked a gray hair from the top of my head.”
Seconds later, my sister replied.
“LOL. I told you it was there.”
Who but a sibling can grow old with you from the start?
Our homes are more than a place where parents raise kids. They’re the place where our kids form a forever bond of their own.
And we get to supply the glue.
Wow. I love being a mom.
Blessings,
Becky
P.S. Does it feel like your kids will never get to this point? Have faith, momma..it’s coming. But if you’re concerned your kids are bickering a bit too much, there is something you can do about it NOW! Check out my “Let’s All Get Along: How to Live in Harmony with Siblings” Bible Study. This family study is for kids (and parents) of all ages who struggle to show love to their brothers and sisters the way God intended. This fun Bible study explains why getting along is a much wiser choice than squabbling—and how to do it. Check out the Let’s All Get Along Family Bible Study in my shop to see a complete list of features and to download your very own copy!
Thoroughly enjoyed reading this today, Becky! Beautiful! Your girls will be best friends–you are ensuring it with your intentionality.
Thank you so much, Julie! Your encouragement really blesses me today.
This is so encouraging, Becky. And I love your words, “God is flawlessly intentional.” I don’t often stop to think about that when it comes to my kids and their relationships with each other, but it’s so true and so beautiful as you’ve illustrated “flawlessly” here! Love it!
I’ve been thinking about it more and more as my kids grow closer in stage and interests. Adding the role of “friend coach” to my list of mom responsibilities seems to make the days even more meaningful. I so appreciate you stopping by here each week, Beth!
LOVE this, especially as we are now expecting GIRL #6 (yes, ALL girls!)! I fervently pray they will always be there for each other, that they will lean on each other, encourage each other, stand up for each other. Right now they think of each other as sisters, and others as friends, but I pray that as they grow, they will realize the treasure God has given them–built-in friends for life. I love how you said, “who but a sibling can grow old with you from the start”.
Six girls!! You are blessed, Jessica.
Giving a child a sibling (where possible, of course) is the greatest gift. I feel exactly the same way about my boys’ relationship, as well as my relationships with my siblings. Such a blessing!
And so exciting to be welcoming a new one into your house soon, Erica!
Beckie, I love what you wrote about sisters and friends. Now that my kids are grown it is very easy to see that they are good friends as well as sister and brother. It is so good to see and as a Mom you know you did something right. (and yes I mean Cindy and Kevin) Irene P.S. Love what you write each week KEEP WRITING
Thank you, Irene! I just love hearing from you here. Your encouragement means a lot to me. I seem to remember Cindy and Kevin got along pretty well even as kids. At least we thought so, since they played Pay Day together and that super impressive to a six-year-old at the time. 🙂
Who but a sibling can grow old with you from the start? I LOVE this line! It’s so true. Thanks for making me feel all warm and squishy today. Both about my own sister and about the blessings my children have in each other!
Aww, count on me for the warm and squishy stuff, my friend!
ooo, I like sneaking M&Ms into their hands when you catch an act of kindness. My 3yo girl and 6yo boy are sometimes greatest of friends, especially at the park when someone is bothering one of them. 🙂
Oh that’s great – they stick up for each other? Love that.
Good grief! Tears shot straight from my eyeballs. Great writing.
Thanks, Lori. I hope you didn’t have to run too far for a tissue. 🙂
My sister is two years older than I and we created other worlds up through the bunkbed crack. Today I watch my sons grow into this kind of friendship and it makes my heart so glad. You brought back some sweet memories for me tonight, Becky. Thank you 🙂
And thank you for sharing your memories, too, Laura. 🙂
I love you…grey hair and all. 🙂 Besides…I still have more than you. 🙂
Not for long, my seester. I see a salon appointment in my future. 🙂 And I love you, too.
Such a beautiful post! I have also enjoyed watching my children become the best of friends — and I pray they stay that way. My little girl does not have a sister, but she does have the best brother around. (I may be a little prejudiced.)
With 7 years between my sister and I it was only recently we grew close — but well worth the wait.
Stopping in from PYHO
I love that my boys have each other, too. They definitely fight but they are also there for each other and I hope they will always stay close.
I have a 4 year old and 1 year old, and its amazing to see that even though there are starting to be tiffs, they can love eachother and begin a friendship. Wonderful Becky! Love this!