Becky Kopitzke

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The Witch. I Hate Her.

June 25, 2012

Let’s talk about the H word. Hormones. Nasty little buggers, aren’t they?

I’m normally a chipper person. But every so often, depending on the shape of the moon, I can get a bit… cranky. Oversensitive. Melancholy. And, let’s just say, irrational.

Maybe you can relate to this lovely scene.

Witch-Hate-Her

Early on a Saturday morning, my sweet husband went shopping for groceries. Fantastic, right? He willingly takes on this chore so I don’t have to juggle two little supermarket companions during the week. I write the list, he wheels through the aisles at sunrise collecting the goods. It’s one of the hundreds of practical reasons I love the guy.

So when he returned home and we began unloading bags together, I batted my lashes in dreamy gratitude and adoration. Awww, he bought my favorite apples. My hero.

A cheery tune buzzed through my lips while I stacked tuna cans and folded the sacks. My husband settled in a kitchen chair to sip coffee and scan the newspaper while our girls slurped chocolate milk and Cheerios. We were a billboard of domestic peace.

Until I opened my trap.

“Honey, where are the diapers?”

He jerked his head from the paper, eyes wide, and blinked. “What diapers? They weren’t on the list.”

Slowly, I ran a fingertip down the crumpled shopping list to ensure I wasn’t about to perjure myself. Right there in my tidy penmanship, under the bold “Baby Aisle” header, glowed the word DIAPERS.

“Yes, they were.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, honey. I missed it.”

Blood bubbled from my toes to my forehead. My mouth twisted into a beastly scowl, hot drool dripped off my teeth, and smoky flames escaped from my nostrils. I do believe I felt a pair of horns sprout just above my ears.

“You missed it? We buy diapers every week.”

“Well, then, you should do the shopping next time. You’re better at it.” He stuck his nose back in the newspaper. The girls scooped more cereal into their mouths, oblivious.

I squeezed my eyelids shut, dug my fingernails into my palms, and squelched the urge to scream. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack! He forgot the diapers?! Where has he been for the last five years!?! We are diaper people! My husband is useless! I hate my life!

Hold on a second. That’s not true. How could such terrible thoughts creep into my brain? I popped one eye open and peeked at the calendar on the fridge.

Oh. That explains it.

Hormones can turn even the holiest woman into a sniffling witch overnight. When I wake up in the morning with an urge to flop on the sofa with a bag of Oreos and some earplugs, I know biology is to blame.

There was a time when I used this hormonal rollercoaster as an excuse to unleash the hag. But then I got cozy with Proverbs and realized—there are no excuses.

“The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down,” (Proverbs 14:1).

Ouch. Cranky moods, overreacting, snapping and nagging—all of these conspire to tear down the loving walls I work so hard to build. Don’t get me wrong—I testify that hormones are a valid cause of feeling crummy. But acting crummy is a choice.

When the hubby-bought-no-diapers incident conjured my inner witch, the Holy Spirit fought back by hurling into mind the words of Proverbs 14:1. Oh, the value of memorizing Scripture! So I clamped my tongue, mounted my broom and flew into the bathroom for a time out.

Lord, I prayed, please don’t let me tear down my house today.

“Honey?” My husband tapped on the bathroom door. “Do you need me to run back to the store for diapers?”

I drew a deep breath, exhaled, and pulled the doorknob. “No, it’s okay. I’ll go. I need something else that wasn’t on the list, anyway.”

“What is it?”

“Oreos.”

If this post encouraged you, please pass it on. You might also like The Mirror, Love Is Not Easily Angered, and When You Don’t Feel Like Doing Your Job.

* * * * * * * *

Linking up with: The Better Mom, Titus 2sdays, Domestically Divine Tuesday, Living Well Wednesdays, Wifey Wednesdays, Things I Can’t Say, Grace at Home, and Faithfully Parenting Fridays.

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Filed Under: Growing Pains, Marriage, Mom Mess-ups, Taming the Tongue, Wife Mess-ups

Comments

  1. Anonymous says

    June 25, 2012 at 12:47 pm

    Love this Becky! it is a perfect description and a perfect reminder of what God’s wise words are for us. I know I will think of this blog the next time I feel the inner beast surfacing and I will cling to Proverbs 14:1 as I try to get through it how you did 🙂

    (If I ever were to get a tattoo, I think it would need to be this proverb right on the back of my hand)

    thank you!
    Hilary

    • Becky says

      June 25, 2012 at 1:03 pm

      You and me both, Hilary! Your comment makes me smile today!

  2. Erica {let why lead} says

    June 25, 2012 at 2:45 pm

    I love that scripture! The woman tearing down her house with her hands is so fitting here. And I do it all the time!

    Thanks, Becky!

  3. Ashley Ditto says

    June 25, 2012 at 7:04 pm

    Amazing Becky.

  4. Jenni says

    June 26, 2012 at 11:57 am

    OH so true… lol. Thank you for the encouragement (and for convicting my heart a little!)

  5. Alissa says

    June 26, 2012 at 12:19 pm

    This post is so timely. I just had a conversation about this with my sister-in-law last week when she was going through it…and this week, when my hormonal beast reared her ugly head.

    My cycles aren’t remarkably regular, so sometimes it’s very difficult for me to recognize when it’s happening. I’m getting better at it though. I’m not a person who is normally irritable or easily frustrated, but I realized recently that when my hormones are raging, everything in me SCREAMS for a fight…like my body is raging beneath the surface of my skin.

    I apologized to my husband and my children…a fun lesson on humility for me and them. This scripture is DEFINITELY going onto a note card and into my brain. An ounce of prevention and all….

    • Becky says

      June 27, 2012 at 2:07 am

      It’s one of my staple verses for sure! An ounce of prevention – so true, Alissa!

  6. Debbie Crawford says

    June 26, 2012 at 12:53 pm

    I can so relate to this! It was much easier to use the excuse when I wasn’t a Christian, but now there isn’t one. God’s word doesn’t say we are exempt from His ways when we are hormonal.

  7. Sarah Brooks says

    June 26, 2012 at 9:05 pm

    SO good! I love that verse, I always have! Well, I kinda don’t like. Depending on the kind of wife and mommy I am being that day! Thank you for a very open post reminding me to not let nature take all the blame.

  8. Megan says

    June 27, 2012 at 3:15 am

    I love this!! Just yesterday, as my husband and I were both in our small kitchen at the same time, I screamed inside my head, “WHY IS HE ALWAYS IN MY WAY?!?!?” Then I realized, just before speaking, that that is really not a rational thought and it must be almost that ‘special’ time! 😉 Thanks for the encouragement!

  9. Serving A Generation for Jesus says

    June 27, 2012 at 3:53 am

    Oh thank you! I struggle with this. I’m normally a fun girl, but 2 days per month “this” happens. I’m glad I’m not alone. I’m also grateful for the encouragement to bite my tongue, lock myself in the bathroom, and pray through it!:)

  10. Heather Mahon Estey says

    June 27, 2012 at 10:03 am

    ha ha! Amen! I completely agree with all of it. 🙂 By the way, want to share some Oreos? 🙂
    ~Heather @ http://www.thewelcominghouse.blogspot.com

    • Becky says

      June 27, 2012 at 2:23 pm

      Regular or double-stuff? 🙂

  11. Lisa says

    June 27, 2012 at 2:44 pm

    So good! Thanks for the lesson illustrated so well!

  12. Hands to Work, Hearts to God says

    June 28, 2012 at 11:59 am

    Proverbs 14:1 is a gem. I haven’t come across it yet and now i want to make a painting so i can embed it in my brain!!!! Patsy from
    HeARTworks

    • Becky says

      July 1, 2012 at 1:51 am

      I hope you’ll share pictures of the painting when it’s done!

  13. Crystal @ Serving Joyfully says

    June 28, 2012 at 2:00 pm

    LOVE this post! It’s good to be real every once in a while and share the not-so-beautiful moments…Thanks for sharing, I have many similar stories I could add to the pile, but I’m working really hard on reducing their number from here on out.

    • Becky says

      July 1, 2012 at 1:50 am

      Me, too, Crystal!

  14. Calista @ A House and Yard says

    June 28, 2012 at 8:58 pm

    Great post! Extremely descriptive account of what happens to many of us on a fairly regular basis. Thank God for His Spirit! Oh, and by the way, although Oreos are a good option, my “soul food” of choice is chocolate peanut butter ice cream. 🙂

    • Becky says

      July 1, 2012 at 1:49 am

      Oo, I’m an ice cream gal, too. Love it.

  15. susan@avintagefarmwife says

    June 28, 2012 at 11:59 pm

    You totally hit the nail on the head with this one. Now that hormones have bid me good-bye for the most part ( that’s another story-thanks Eve. Adam and Eve.) I wish I had thought more often about this…would I want someone to speak to my son the way I am speaking to my husband? Convicting.

  16. susan@avintagefarmwife says

    June 29, 2012 at 1:05 pm

    It’s me again! I am nominating you to receive the Liebster Award for up and coming bloggers. I couldn’t find any contact info on your blog, so I will let you know through this comment. Come over and see what this means!

    • Becky says

      June 30, 2012 at 1:52 am

      Yay! Thank you, Susan! How exciting!

  17. Kathy Olson says

    June 30, 2012 at 1:20 pm

    Good word! I can totally relate with what you shared. And I get the Oreos, too!

  18. Richella says

    July 2, 2012 at 12:58 am

    EXCELLENT! Oh, yes, girl. Great illustration of how it takes real weapons to fight that hormonal witch (who does not, by the way, get easier to handle for quite a few years). Will power alone is not enough to put her in her place–you need power! God supplies real power. Scripture memorization and prayer? Now that’s ammunition!!

    • Becky says

      July 2, 2012 at 2:43 pm

      Amen, Richella!

  19. Michy (lovingourjourney.com) says

    July 5, 2012 at 5:36 pm

    Absolutely understand it, and love it!!! Hope you enjoyed those very needed oreos!!!!!!!!
    🙂 Blessings!

  20. MamaMash says

    July 18, 2012 at 2:51 am

    This is wonderful! I realized during the second year of our marriage that I did not want to tear my husband down with my moods. I had watched my SIL berate her husband in public one too many times and vowed to be very careful in the future with my tone and my attitude toward my mate.

    It can be difficult sometimes to swallow the hag, to put her in her place, but it’s worth it to see my husband grow in confidence. Plus, you can catch way more flies with honey…

    • Becky says

      July 18, 2012 at 8:09 pm

      So true. Now where did I put that jar of honey!? 🙂

  21. Shell says

    July 18, 2012 at 1:02 pm

    I have to stay aware of the calendar. Because my hormones are only getting worse with age. But if I’m aware of it, then when that rage comes on, I’m better able to handle things or realize they aren’t as big a deal as I’m making them out to be.

  22. Kristin @ What She Said says

    July 18, 2012 at 4:53 pm

    I can’t tell you how many times my husband and I have fought over something he forgot to get (or of which he got the wrong kind) at the grocery store. It’s ridiculous. And then what starts out as a petty little squabble turns into a giant, raging elephant in the room as we fling accusations at each other over stuff that has nothing at all to do with groceries. And suddenly failures in grocery shopping become a metaphor for our marriage.

    Luckily, that hasn’t happened in a long time. I made a pact with myself last fall to stop sweating the small stuff – like grocery mishaps. After all, grocery shopping is a big enough pain in the butt without surrounding it with marital spats.

    And the grocery store will still be there tomorrow.

    • Becky says

      July 18, 2012 at 8:11 pm

      I’m laughing… yes, I’m grateful for abundant food, but grocery shopping kind of lost its charm over the years.

  23. Patricia Purcell says

    July 18, 2012 at 8:44 pm

    Every woman can relate to this! Your husband sounds like a sweetheart and you’re wise to realize that. I bet he’ll remember the diapers next time!

    • Becky says

      July 18, 2012 at 8:55 pm

      Yes… or else he’ll pray really hard for the potty training to catch on soon!

  24. Adrienne says

    July 19, 2012 at 11:20 pm

    Oh that verse convicts me every time I read it. I struggle with he whole hormone thing, and I’m pretty sure my husband wants to divorce me once a month.

  25. Michelle says

    July 20, 2012 at 2:49 am

    So hard to bite my tongue…especially with those wacky hormones. My teenage sons know that pregnancy makes mom a little crazy, too!
    Michelle
    http://normalchaosforamultitaskmom.blogspot.com/2012/07/the-beauty-of-rose.html

  26. Jaimie says

    July 25, 2012 at 2:38 pm

    Oh GOODNESS I speak before I think way too often. I have got to remember this one more. Sometimes it’s the hardest to be kind to my husband, of all people! And gracious yes the hormones. Yuck.

    I like the idea of a self-inflicted timeout. That would probably be really good for my marriage if I did it more often!

  27. Elli Scrivner says

    August 13, 2012 at 3:53 am

    This is great! It’s so good to know that so many other women have the same struggle. I call “the witch” my “evil twin.” She rarely appears to my husband, but my kids get to see her all too often. I have explained this to my now-hormonal 11-year-old, and we have decided that when we our evil twins want to come out and yell we’ll shut them up with bag of chocolate chips.

  28. D. Lynn @Purple Kale says

    September 18, 2012 at 2:57 pm

    You are completely dead-on! I feel better knowing I am not the only one who is struggling with this!

Trackbacks

  1. He Thinks He's Being Helpful says:
    November 25, 2013 at 4:33 pm

    […] encouraged you, please share it. You might also like When Hubby Leaves His Socks on the Floor, The Witch. I Hate Her, and  How to Marry Your Husband All Over […]

  2. Why Is Mom So Cranky All the Time? says:
    October 31, 2014 at 8:53 pm

    […] If this post encouraged you, I’d be blessed if you’d share it. You might also like Put a Little Love in Your Voice, When the Wrong Words Come Out, Cut Me Some Slack, Little People, and The Witch. I Hate Her. […]

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Meet Becky.

If you love your kids but you sometimes forget to feed them lunch, if you're crazy about your husband but some days you want to set his hunting gear on fire, and if you adore Jesus with your whole heart yet you mess up time and time again, then you and I are friends already.

We need each other. I'm so glad you're here.

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