Becky Kopitzke

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Surviving December with Small Kids

December 3, 2012

What do you get when you mix a toddler, a kindergartener, and a Christmas to-do list?

Definitely not peace on Earth.

Surviving December with Small Kids

“Don’t step there!” My hand jerked toward my two-year-old daughter’s ankles, but too late. Her foot crunched a row of Christmas ornaments arranged meticulously on the rug, prepped for hanging.

“I sorry, Momma!” Her sock hovered over a sparkly blue star, crushed into five pieces.

“I told you to stay on the sofa! Sweetie, if you want to help Mommy decorate the tree, you need to be very careful around the ornaments. Now it’s broken.”

Her bottom lip quivered, fat tears burst down her cheeks, and she ran out of the room.

Oh, great, I thought. Way to go, Mom. Now you’ve outdone your perfectionist self.

Just then, my five-year-old started wailing, too. “I liked that ornament! It was the best one! Waaaahhh!”

Gently, I placed the shards of star in my hand and sighed.

‘Tis the season. Heaven help me.

I love December. The decorations, carols, shopping, wrapping, parties, cards, baking—all of it. I’ve always loved it. So when my husband and I started a family, I imagined double the fun. Christmas through a child’s eyes is supposed to infuse the whole house with magic, right? I pictured rosy-cheek cherubs in footie pajamas, stirring marshmallows into mugs of hot cocoa while the whole family sings Jingle Bells.

In reality, my household looks a little different.

Oh, I have a couple rosy-cheek cherubs alright. Only they prefer to eat those marshmallows straight from the bag, for breakfast.

They tangle yards of garland into a useless heap.

They poke each other in the head with spatulas.

They spike fevers on Christmas Eve.

So you see? A perfect holiday portrait we are not. I’ll bet your family isn’t, either. But then, the only perfect thing in this world is God’s love.

And isn’t that what Christmas is really about?

“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life,” (John 3:16).

A few weeks ago, I asked the women in my Bible study about their plans for Thanksgiving. Among a table of 30-something moms was one seasoned grandma. She is good for our souls.

“I don’t look forward to the holidays like I used to,” she confessed, “now that the kids are grown and gone. Most of them won’t be home this year.”

I started counting. My girls are 5 and 2. That means I have 13 Decembers left with both of them at home. Even fewer before they outgrow the magic. Before glossy toy catalogs give way to Aeropostale shirts and iTunes gift cards. Before—God forbid it—friends are more appealing than Mom. Someday, my girls won’t beg to help decorate the tree anymore. Maybe I’ll beg them.

And I’m freaking out about broken ornaments? Wow. It’s time to shift my priorities.

“Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom,” (Psalm 90:12).

This month, I want to snuggle in front of the TV, watching the Grinch and eating popcorn. I will choose not to notice how many kernels fall onto the carpet.

I want to bake six dozen cookies and let the kids crack the eggs. Spread the frosting. Lick palms full of sprinkles. And I will choose not to mind how many shells I have to fish out of the dough, or how lopsided the snowmen turn out. We’re baking joy into every bite.

I will drop my crazy to-do list on a whim, to sit beside the Christmas tree and let its twinkly spell wash over me. I won’t scold my kids for reaching to touch ornaments, or for shaking boxes placed under the tree.

It’s December with my kids. Messy and fleeting, and so, so precious.

“Momma, I sorry I broked da ordament. It was a accident.” My two-year-old wrapped her arms around my leg and kissed my knee. My heart swelled into my throat.

“I’m sorry I upset you, sweetheart.” I lifted her onto my lap and pressed my nose into her wispy hair. “I have a special job for you. Will you help me put candy canes on the tree?”

Her face lit up. “Can I eat one?”

{Sigh.}

“Sure.”

What the heck. It’s Christmas.

And I still love it. Do you?

Blessings,
Becky

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Filed Under: Growing Pains, Homemaking, Household, Mom Mess-ups, Parenting, Raising Young Kids, Sentimental, Taming the Tongue

Comments

  1. Nicole Anderson says

    December 3, 2012 at 2:10 pm

    I LOVe this. Thank you so much for the real look at your home and heart. I am type-A as well and it is good to see I am not alone! I cherish my babies and we must constantly remind ourselves that today is all we have. We must live it to the fullest, loving to the fullest and holding tight to those memories for later!

    • Becky says

      December 4, 2012 at 3:05 am

      I couldn’t agree more, Nicole! Live the parenting life to the fullest… messy and beautiful as it is!

  2. Shannon says

    December 3, 2012 at 3:19 pm

    So happy to be joining you from the TMI link up today.

    http://vintagewifeslife.blogspot.com/2012/12/ending-bible-poverty.html

    • Becky says

      December 4, 2012 at 3:05 am

      Thanks for stopping by, Shannon!

  3. Beth says

    December 3, 2012 at 4:09 pm

    Yeah, my perfectionism has often reared its ugly head especially at Christmas time. But you, as always Becky, know how to turn that negative moment right side up. I love your wisdom and perspective. Those teenage days will come roaring at you in the blink of an eye! I’m so glad you’re slowing them down with a candy cane or lost popcorn kernel or two! 😉

    • Becky says

      December 4, 2012 at 3:11 am

      Oh the teenage years! I hear kids actually want to sleep at that stage, is it true? 🙂

  4. Whitney @ My Southern Comfort says

    December 3, 2012 at 7:31 pm

    Once again, you sound so much like me and this is the main reason why I’m trying to train myself to have more patience with my beauties

    • Becky says

      December 4, 2012 at 3:12 am

      It is kind of a training process, isn’t it? Fortunately my beautiful kids give me lots of opportunities to practice. 🙂 Thanks for reading, Whitney!

  5. WhisperingWriter says

    December 3, 2012 at 8:32 pm

    I am not Type A but I still am not exactly thrilled with decorating or making stuff with my kids. It just never winds up being much fun.

  6. Erica {let why lead} says

    December 4, 2012 at 5:10 am

    It’s funny, because I have just lately been thinking, “How is it that we grow up and remember so much magic at Christmastime?” Our mothers probably remember that amid the few magical moments were millions of mundane ones—where the kids fight and compete or whine and make messes. But thankfully, that’s not what I remember from my childhood Christmases. I remember and cherish the magic. SO, I guess I’ll have have a little faith that if I loosen up enough, that’s what my kids will remember too. Thanks for this post, Becky!

    • Becky says

      December 5, 2012 at 2:09 am

      I remember the Barbie Dream house glowing under the tree. My mom remembers staying up until 3 a.m. to put it together. I suppose kids do hold onto memories of the magic above all else. I hope so, anyway!

  7. Kim says

    December 4, 2012 at 10:59 am

    Your post brings back sweet memories of my girls when they were little. When our oldest was not quite three, she wandered into the kitchen after we had finished decorating. Her cheeks were bulging, and when I asked what she had in her mouth, she showed me: a small, red, glass ball ornament. Fortunately, she let it drop into my hand and there were no injuries. That was the last year we put breakable and fragile stuff on the tree.

    Of course, I cringe, too, as I see how I was, with similar expectations and trying to make the girls behavior fit into my fantasy. Didn’t work in my house either, and there was so much more joy when I was willing to just let go and go more with the flow.

    • Becky says

      December 5, 2012 at 2:11 am

      Kim, you always have such great stories! A glass ornament in her mouth, seriously? I can imagine it wasn’t funny at the time. But it makes me smile to hear about it today. Thanks for reading and sharing your memories!

  8. Southern Gal says

    December 4, 2012 at 1:26 pm

    Oh, I can so relate. Thanks for sharing this.

    • Becky says

      December 5, 2012 at 2:12 am

      Thanks for reading!

  9. Sarah Small says

    December 4, 2012 at 2:08 pm

    Beautiful post! Made me think about how sad it is for me to keep getting the American Girl catalog in the mail, remembering the not-so-long ago days when my daughter, now 15, would wear the pages out looking at it.

    • Becky says

      December 5, 2012 at 2:20 am

      That thought chokes me up a little. My oldest just started getting the American Girl catalog in the mail… and she is wearing out the pages. Thanks for reading, Sarah!

  10. Positively Alene says

    December 4, 2012 at 2:46 pm

    Beautiful, as I relate! Thankful to stop by today from TUnwrapped. Love your bloggy world.

    • Becky says

      December 5, 2012 at 2:20 am

      Thanks for stopping by, Alene!

  11. Brianna Wasson says

    December 4, 2012 at 4:00 pm

    Hi! I’m here from Emily’s Tuesdays Unwrapped. I feel like I’ve just inhaled a bunch of fresh air after reading your post. You make me wanna go cuddle up with my kiddos. (After, of course, they finish up their x-box Lego Batman game.) 🙂

    • Becky says

      December 5, 2012 at 2:21 am

      Thank you for visiting from Emily’s place, Brianna! I hope you enjoyed some good cuddle time, or at least got to play along with the X-box fun. 🙂

  12. ~Karrilee~ says

    December 4, 2012 at 4:14 pm

    Beautiful and Real… I love it when He can blend the two! As another comment said, luckily the kiddos usually only remember the magic… not so much the egg shells or broken ornaments! Blessings to you and your family over the holidays!
    ~Karrilee~

    • Becky says

      December 5, 2012 at 2:22 am

      Thank you, Karrilee! Blessings to your household, too!

  13. elizabeth says

    December 4, 2012 at 4:34 pm

    A good reminder that the people we love, not our decor, are what’s important…I need this reminder as my grandkids tear around my house, filling it with the joyful noise of their laughter, and yes, sometimes, their squabbles.

    • Becky says

      December 5, 2012 at 2:23 am

      I so value a grandma’s perspective. Thank you for reading, Elizabeth!

  14. kendradueck says

    December 4, 2012 at 9:23 pm

    This is just beautiful. It is so true – these years will soon be gone. When my floor is dirty (even though I just washed it this morning), and there are toys and stuff everywhere, I keep trying to remember that sometime, much sooner than seems possible, I will sit alone in my perfectly clean house, and I will wish for these days!

    I appreciate your reminder to embrace the Christmas chaos!

    • Becky says

      December 5, 2012 at 2:24 am

      So true, Kendra. We will miss this someday. And I’m so glad I’m not the only one whose freshly cleaned floor is dirty again later that same day!

  15. Sara says

    December 4, 2012 at 10:56 pm

    Great post! Wow! I stopped in from Tuesdays Unwrapped! I am so glad I did! This was a reminder I desperately needed. Thank you for your honest spirit. XO

    • Becky says

      December 5, 2012 at 2:24 am

      Thank you for reading, Sara! Blessings to you and your family.

  16. Tricia Ballad says

    December 5, 2012 at 1:21 pm

    Just stopped in from Pour Your Heart Out – and I’m a Type-A Mom too. It’s tough to let things go, to accept that the Christmas tree in our living room isn’t going to be the beautifully designed piece of artwork in the magazines. But it will be ok. This season is for embracing the beauty in imperfection. There will be plenty of time to embrace the peace and quiet when the kids are grown, and then we’ll be inviting them to bring the grandkids over!

  17. Wayne W Smith says

    December 5, 2012 at 1:35 pm

    A very interesting story with some nice insight. Being a person who is probably the total opposite of you, I thought it was fascinating to read your perspective.

  18. Shell says

    December 5, 2012 at 2:27 pm

    This is so spot on. It’s really about spending the time together and making memories, not having the “perfect” holiday.

  19. angel shrout says

    December 5, 2012 at 3:46 pm

    My mother passed last year on New Years. This holiday season has really taken its toll on my heart and mind with the memories of every Christmas tradition we shared, from the decorating to the candy and cookie making. This year I have sometimes had to push through the grief and make joy in the moment, because she would want me to be happy. It isn’t always easy. I totally needed this reminder today. I love when God whispers in my ear through various ways like the addition of friends to ease my sadness when making the candy this year..

  20. Laura Boggess says

    December 5, 2012 at 4:05 pm

    Such good lessons learned, Becky. My boys are. Both teens now and every year we are closer to that empty nest. It makes me hold each moment dear keeping that knowledge close. One day, we’ll have the perfect Christmas tree, but until then, lets enjoy the messiness of love!

  21. NJ @ A Cookie Before Dinner says

    December 5, 2012 at 7:14 pm

    Thank you so much for this perspective. This season can get so busy and you’ve reminded me to take time to slow down and enjoy it. Stopping by today from PYHO.

  22. Kelli @ Momma Needs a Beer says

    December 5, 2012 at 8:24 pm

    I needed this post today! I do try my best to embrace every moment I have with my kids… but it’s tough around the holidays, when we’re torn in 27 different directions. I need to shift my priorities. My girls are 8 & 4… this could be the last year my oldest believes in Santa. 🙁 So I’m soaking it ALLLLL in from here on out. Even if I have to put a little alcohol on it to make myself sane. HA!

  23. Twingle Mommy says

    December 5, 2012 at 10:54 pm

    As a fellow type a I can relate to this post. I try so hard not to stress this time of year but it doesn’t work very well for me. But you’re right, we only have so many years when they are little and have the magic of Christmas going.

  24. The Preppy Girl in Pink says

    December 5, 2012 at 11:30 pm

    My girls are older now but I can remember a few Christmases where ornaments were broken and me being quick to react. Thankfully, I was also quick to forgive and move on. Some ornaments have a lot of meaning behind them but we can always buy new ones. The memories will always stay in our hearts.
    Beautiful reminder to everyone this time of year when life gets hectic and we can’t remember our way.

  25. mamalaughs says

    December 6, 2012 at 2:42 am

    A nice reminder to keep our expectations in check, and our focus on what is important. But man it is hard not to keep adding to the recipe/craft/gift/decoration/party to do list!!!

    ~M

    mamalaughs.wordpress.com

  26. WeeMasonMan's Mom says

    December 6, 2012 at 2:50 am

    This is such a good reminder. It’s totally one of those “the days are long but the years are short” things. Frustrated trying to get a Christmas picture of the toddler in front of the tree but 11 Christmases from now, he’ll be a surly teenager who doesn’t see any magic in Christmas at all *sigh*

  27. Richella Parham says

    December 12, 2012 at 6:31 pm

    YES! Good for you, Becky! You’d better believe that you’ll miss these times. And if you’re like me, you’ll break some ornaments yourself. But you’ll have memories of the Decembers that you treasured. 🙂

Trackbacks

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Meet Becky.

If you love your kids but you sometimes forget to feed them lunch, if you're crazy about your husband but some days you want to set his hunting gear on fire, and if you adore Jesus with your whole heart yet you mess up time and time again, then you and I are friends already.

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