Becky Kopitzke

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Sometimes the Laundry Just Needs to Get Done

January 14, 2013

“She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks,” (Proverbs 31:17).

“Mommy, will you play this with me?” My two-year-old peered over a mountain of heaping laundry baskets. She clutched an UNO Moo barn in her hand.

Ugh. I looked at my daughter, then at the laundry, then back to my daughter again. Scolding phrases whipped through my head—words I’ve read countless times in e-mail forwards and catchy Facebook posts. You’ve heard them. Those modern admonishments meant to encourage frazzled moms.

Days are long but the years fly by.

Rock and don’t sweep, because babies don’t keep.

A messy house is a happy house.

So true! I believe that!

But then I stared down a pile of grubby socks and realized—enough, already. Seriously. This family is one day short of recycling our dirty underwear. Sometimes the laundry just has to get done.

I swallowed hard and gazed straight into my daughter’s pleading eyes. “I’m sorry, sweetheart, but I cannot play right now. Mom has to do some chores.”

Suddenly a strange sense of empowerment tingled through my veins. It felt a little like rebellion. Yes! I must do the chores! And that does NOT make me a bad mom!

Quite the opposite, I think.

My house is nowhere near immaculate. I stopped trying years ago, when I discovered babies are messy and moms need naps. But I wonder—have we gone a little too far? Do we encourage each other so much to spend every waking moment relishing fleeting childhood, that any time spent otherwise is deemed a waste, or selfish? We don’t guilt each other about our dirty floors anymore, and that’s great. But now, instead, are we sheepish about cleaning them?

I’m taking a stand for mothers everywhere.

It’s okay to clean.

Or to cook. Or to spend a morning running errands, paying bills, making phone calls and folding towels. That’s what grown-ups do. And how else will our kids learn unless we demonstrate?

After all, life is not a big game of UNO.

Recently, I read an article about a local Amish family. It was a diary of their typical week, written by the father of six grown children. Each day consisted of chores, cooking, and family devotions. The grandkids ran in the barn while the older children milked cows, and everyone helped make pies for the family bakery business. They were all faithfully devoted to one another as they worked side by side from dawn to dusk.

Could it be that the real call on a family is not for the parents to serve the children, but for everyone to serve each other for the glory of God? It’s up to us parents to teach the kids how—by example.

Jesus did it first. He invited his disciples to follow him and learn from him while he worked. While he taught, healed, and prayed. As moms, our core duties are much the same. Teach. Nurture. Pray like crazy.

So sometimes we work. Sometimes we play. Strong families are built with both. Let’s stop the flow of guilt from either end, amen?

“Sweetie, I have a great idea.” I set my daughter’s game on the table and clapped her hands in mine. “You can help me put these clothes in the wash. Doesn’t that sound fun?”

“Okay, Momma!” Her face lit up. “Can I push the buttons, too?”

“Absolutely. You are a good button pusher.”

“Yay!” She squealed with delight as if I’d just asked her to play, well, UNO Moo or something.

Amazing. It took an Amish diary to show me what a toddler knows at heart. Work is play.

Looks like I’m going to be getting a lot more laundry done around here. We might need bigger underwear drawers.

If this post encouraged you, please pass it on. You might also like Queen of the Castle: A Fresh Perspective on Housework, How a Wiggles Movie Changed My Life, and If You Give a Mom a Minute.

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Linking up with: The Better Mom, Playdates With God, The Mom Initiative, Titus 2sdays, Grace at Home, and Things I Can’t Say.

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Filed Under: Chores, Homemaking, Household, Parenting, Raising Young Kids, Things I Learn from My Kids

Comments

  1. Alicia says

    January 14, 2013 at 1:59 pm

    AMEN!!! With a mountain of laundry calling my name today, I needed this. Love your perspective. One of my favorite memories from my own childhood is “working” with my mom. She hung out all of our laundry on a clothesline and one day she strung up a little string beside our big clothesline and let me wash my doll clothes and hang them out to dry “just like mommy does.” Blessings on your week!

    • Becky says

      January 14, 2013 at 8:38 pm

      I just love knowing there is a fellow momma buried under the laundry today, Alicia. What a sweet memory of your own little doll clothesline! Love it.

  2. Jedidja says

    January 14, 2013 at 2:22 pm

    Becky, well done! Yu child will remember later thats she helps mom.. I enjoyed this post because it is a situation that recognizable is for me and other mothers. Thank you.

    • Becky says

      January 14, 2013 at 8:39 pm

      I wonder at what age laundry is no longer fun. My older daughter asks to help with chores all the time, too. Do you think it will last until they’re teenagers? 🙂

  3. Beth says

    January 14, 2013 at 4:03 pm

    It’s always finding that balance that’s so tough in this life, Becky. And you’ve addressed that need here so beautifully as always. I love the line, “… The real call on a family is not for the parents to serve the children, but for everyone to serve each other for the glory of God.” Maybe it will fit in a Twitter post–I’ll have to see! Thanks again, my friend, for your unfettered heart toward motherhood and God!

    • Becky says

      January 14, 2013 at 8:39 pm

      Thank you for reading each week, Beth! I always smile to see your comments here.

  4. Ashley Ditto says

    January 14, 2013 at 4:57 pm

    Becky, you always give out such encouragement for momma’s. Bless you today.

  5. Monica Nixon says

    January 15, 2013 at 12:05 am

    Balance… It seems I have a challenging time balancing my own little life. I can only imagine what it may be like if I ever have children. “… The real call on a family is not for the parents to serve the children, but for everyone to serve each other for the glory of God.” I agree with Beth. I love this line, as well. I believe this is something we’ve mixed up a bit. The fact that you’ve caught this revelation will certainly bless your family.

    • Becky says

      January 16, 2013 at 7:03 pm

      I can only hope, my friend. I am such a work in progress. 🙂

  6. Lori says

    January 15, 2013 at 2:46 am

    🙂 Loved this…as with everything you write – just love it!

    • Becky says

      January 16, 2013 at 7:03 pm

      Thanks for reading, Lori! I really mean that.

  7. Rose @ Walnut Acre says

    January 15, 2013 at 7:52 pm

    Your title caught my eye because I have a huge pile of laundry that is cycling through today. Thank you for these wise and encouraging words. 🙂

    • Becky says

      January 16, 2013 at 7:04 pm

      So do I! I should be folding it right now, too… 🙂

  8. Kayla Garcia says

    January 15, 2013 at 8:53 pm

    Such a great thought. Thank you for sharing! :)I’m expecting my first in May and this will be good to keep in mind. (I’m visiting your blog for the first time from Titus Tuesdays)

    • Becky says

      January 16, 2013 at 7:05 pm

      Welcome, Kayla! Thank you for reading! And many blessings for your upcoming mommyhood journey. We’re in it together.

  9. Lori says

    January 16, 2013 at 1:04 am

    Yes. Yes. Yes. Life is dishes and dirty socks and washing the car together and cleaning up. If our kids don’t learn this part early, they become selfish, self-centered, and lazy. When we teach them to care for themselves and their home, they are empowered. My college daughter came home this year and said, “Thank you, Mom, for teaching me to take care of myself.” Her roommate had never done anything, and didn’t even know how to clean a bathroom. Let it be said, however, that when we finished chores (together, which made them go by quicker), we had time for fun as well 🙂

    • Becky says

      January 16, 2013 at 7:09 pm

      That really encourages me, Lori. I hope my daughters appreciate housework AND playtime memories by the time they head off to college.

  10. V says

    January 16, 2013 at 1:11 am

    Amen Sister! I know that in my case a clean home is a happy home and clean laundry makes it even better! You are teaching your children well when they see that even though play time is great, there must also be work time.

    Blessings to you and your laundry!

    • Becky says

      January 16, 2013 at 7:11 pm

      A clean home is a happy home… yes, I feel the same way. Which is why I have to fight my nature in order to also see, from my kids’ perspective, that memories are built in the messes. It’s all a balancing act, right? Blessings, fellow laundress!

  11. Twingle Mommy says

    January 16, 2013 at 4:42 am

    I thank you for this post. I have a cleaning day and two laundry days. On my cleaning day I set the timer for 90 minutes and turn on a movie and I clean what I can. I get crap about this from some of my friends since it doesn’t matter if my house is clean or not my kids need me. They do? Because Smurfs and Dora are keeping them pretty entertained right now. Well my floor needs to be cleaned occasionally and laundry doesn’t get cleaned by wishful thinking.

    I love the line “you’re a good button pusher!” That’s awesome one so many levels.

    Over from PYHO.

    • Becky says

      January 16, 2013 at 7:13 pm

      Well now that is a good system, I have to say. I might try it. 90 minutes to clean whatever you can get done in that time, then you quit, with no guilt over what didn’t get done? I like it! Thanks for stopping by from PYHO!

  12. Shell says

    January 16, 2013 at 2:39 pm

    You’re so right! There has to be a balance between making sure we treasure the moments with our kids and still getting things done that need to be done!

    • Becky says

      January 16, 2013 at 7:14 pm

      And we know that pile of stuff that needs to be done does not get any smaller by staring at it, does it, Shell? 🙂

  13. Christine says

    January 17, 2013 at 4:12 am

    Love this especially this –> “But I wonder—have we gone a little too far? Do we encourage each other so much to spend every waking moment relishing fleeting childhood, that any time spent otherwise is deemed a waste, or selfish? We don’t guilt each other about our dirty floors anymore, and that’s great. But now, instead, are we sheepish about cleaning them?” So so true! I often feel this way – that if I’m spending 24/7 with my family that I’m being selfish. It’s a balance like others have said between treasuring our family and kids, treasuring ourselves and cleaning the house!

    • Becky says

      January 26, 2013 at 3:38 am

      I like to think that taking care of my house is part of treasuring my family. Although if that’s true, then by the looks of my house some days you’d think I don’t treasure anybody too much around here! Balance is the elusive key to it all, you’re right, Christine!

  14. Laura Boggess says

    January 18, 2013 at 3:50 am

    Yes, sometimes it’s a good life lesson when we say “no”, isn’t it? I love your idea to get her involved in your chore. Brilliant! Unfortunately, that doesn’t work anymore with my two teenage boys 🙂

    • Becky says

      January 26, 2013 at 3:35 am

      Darn, teenagers don’t get a kick out of pouring the detergent anymore? I’ll appreciate these days while they last!

  15. Richella Parham says

    January 18, 2013 at 4:47 am

    Love this! Sometimes cleaning and scrubbing CAN’T wait ’til tomorrow. Sometimes it can. I think a good idea is for all of us to encourage one another to do our best, knowing that sometimes our best will disappoint our kids, our spouses, our friends, or even ourselves. But God’s not disappointed in us. 🙂

    Now, if you find yourself in need of more laundry to do, please let me know. I know where you could get a large supply!!

    • Becky says

      January 26, 2013 at 3:34 am

      Ha ha, Richella – you’d have to let my little one sort your socks, you know. 🙂

  16. jeanne @ Inspiring Ideas says

    January 18, 2013 at 5:08 am

    A daily balancing act – Looks like you’re still up on the rope! 🙂

    • Becky says

      January 26, 2013 at 3:33 am

      You know you are one of my model balancing queens, Jeanne. 🙂

  17. living from glory to glory says

    January 18, 2013 at 3:12 pm

    Hello, I was really happy to see your post! I have raised my children and have 7 grand children. But I can tell you that my hubby abd grown son that our in positions to hire people and to work along side this generation. And so many have NO or very little worth ethics.
    God help us as women to TRAIN our little ones.
    Bravo, and may Your children rise up and call you blessed.
    Blessings, Roxy

    • Becky says

      January 26, 2013 at 3:32 am

      God help us, indeed, Roxy! Thank you for your encouraging perspective!

  18. Noelle Kirchner says

    January 23, 2013 at 8:03 pm

    This is a great post, Becky! I just recently learned of your blog from Laura Sassi’s blog, in which she nominated you for a sunshine award. I am just starting a blog of my own, which is devotional in nature like yours. Hope to carry on the conversation! In Christ, Noelle http://vocationalmothering.blogspot.com/

    • Becky says

      January 26, 2013 at 3:32 am

      Welcome, Noelle! Thanks for following the trail from Laura’s blog. I’m hopping over to your blog right now…

Trackbacks

  1. Every Day Is Mother's Day says:
    May 9, 2014 at 2:33 pm

    […] the laundry baskets overflowing with muddy socks and shirts. It’s the carpet caked with Play-Doh and Dora band-aids taped on […]

  2. If You Were in My House Today says:
    November 16, 2014 at 6:52 pm

    […] why not. Too many deadlines on my desk, two dozen cupcakes to decorate for school, and we’re all running out of clean underwear. Sorry you had to see my drawer full of Zantac bottles and cherry-flavored Tums, my trusty warriors […]

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Meet Becky.

If you love your kids but you sometimes forget to feed them lunch, if you're crazy about your husband but some days you want to set his hunting gear on fire, and if you adore Jesus with your whole heart yet you mess up time and time again, then you and I are friends already.

We need each other. I'm so glad you're here.

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