Of all the hats we wear as moms, my least favorite is referee. Some days it seems I have no chance to enjoy my children because all my energy is spent on mediating their squabbles. Here’s a typical scene:
“Moooooom! She pinched me!” My five-year-old accused her little sister of unprompted abuse.
“She! Took! My! Bear!” My two-year-old sputtered her defense.
“Did you take your sister’s bear?”
“No. I had it first!” Sure, that old trick.
I knelt to eye-level with my toddler. “Did you pinch your sister?”
“Yes.” Love this honest age.
“You know the rules, girls. In our family, we share toys, and we do not hit, kick, or pinch. Both of you—to your rooms for a time out.” My verdict was swift and final.
“Noooooooooo! Waaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!” The toddler flung her whole body onto the carpet and pounded fists into the floor. Big sister’s face glowed red and contorted into desperate wails. Such cruel and unusual punishment! As though the whole ordeal was my fault in the first place.
Oh, and did I mention it was only 7 a.m.? The girls had been awake and breathing each other’s air for approximately five minutes. Lord, help me.
Sometimes I’m tempted to let natural consequences reign and leave my children to battle it out until one of them gives in or loses a chunk of hair. But at this young stage, they still need my intervention much of the time. My challenge is to stay strong and consistent.
And what a challenge it is.
“No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it,” (Hebrews 12:11).
If harvest is the goal, then discipline is like gardening. I’m in the seed planting stage. Some days I can’t see anything but a mound of dirt.
Yet God is giving life to those seeds beneath the surface. Soon I’ll detect sprouts, and I will continue to water and weed. Then one day, my daughters will stand tall, beautiful, and unwavering as sunflowers—because they are rooted in the soil I tilled with my own sweat and prayers, nourished by the shining rays of God’s grace.
Oh, how we all need his grace.
“Mom, can I come out of my room now?” My five-year-old poked her head through the doorway, repentant.
“Me too, Mommy?” my little one chimed.
“Yes, girls. Come here, please.” I perched them both on my lap. “What did you do that was naughty?”
“We didn’t share,” big sister whispered.
“I pinch! Naughty!” the toddler shouted. My stern lips nearly cracked a giggle.
“What do you need to say to each other?”
“I’m sorry.”
“I sow-ee, too.”
They hugged. My heart warmed. Then the little one yanked her sister’s hair and we started all over again.
Oh, well. Time to plant more seeds. I am producing a harvest of righteousness, after all. It’s not a bad way to spend the day.
If this post encouraged you, please feel free to pass it on. You might also like Love Is Not Easily Angered, It Hurts Because I Love You, and The Mirror.
This scene is so familiar and close, even though our girls are in their mid twenties! You made me laugh with your description.
There were so many days we despaired of them ever getting any of the lessons we taught and modeled.
Just as you point out, though, you plant seeds, water and tend the seedlings with love and patience. Lots and lots and lots of patience!
They do grow into wonderful human beings after all!
Kim, I certainly appreciate your perspective! Thank you for sharing the ups and downs with me!
The Joys of motherhood! I only have one, so I have not experienced the fun of sibling battles yet! I’m sure it’s a constant battle. I remember my brother and I fighting all the time. You seem to have a good perspective on it!
Keep planting and watering!
Mary Beth
newlifesteward.com
Thank you, Mary Beth! The bright side is that they generally do love playing together. But so much togetherness can set us all up for some battles at times!
Glad to hear I am not alone! Some days the arguing and fighting feels like it is going to push me over the edge! But I love what you said about our correction in these instances…”I am producing a harvest of righteousness, after all. It’s not a bad way to spend the day.” Such a great reminder! As always, Becky, thank you for encouraging my heart!
Definitely not alone, Katie. 🙂 I always enjoy hearing from you!
Beautiful! My girls are already starting this, and this really reassures me everything is going to be okay!
I’m told this is nothing compared to the teen years, Ashley. 🙂 Blessings to you and your girls today!
Familiar to us all. My go to verse on days such as this is “Let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart!”
Thank you for that reference, Wendy. Great verse – and so fitting for the squabbling days! Let us not grow weary, indeed.
This really brought back memories. My children are pretty much grown but remember those days. They all seem to be good friends now so it was all worth it!
Not a bad way to spend a day at all, Mom! No surprise that Jesus used so many agricultural references in His teaching, is it? 🙂
Another beautiful post. Thank you for sharing it.