“So what do you do?” The dreaded question. It comes at me from all angles—at my husband’s office party, the dental hygienist, in the parent seats at swimming lessons. This time it was an old college chum. We ran into each other at a local concert and, naturally, he was curious to know what I’d made of myself in the last 15 years.
So I told him.
“I stay home with my kids,” I answered. Then, after a half second pause, I added, “And I’m a freelance writer.”
In other words, “I’ve chosen to stay home to raise my precious children . . . but I do still have a brain, just so you know.”
I’m sure I am not the only mom who does this. I hear it from my friends, too.
“Oh, I’m home with my kids now—but I used to work in finance.”
“I homeschool my kids—but I taught high school math for ten years before that.”
“I left a good job in nursing in order to be a stay-at-home mom. I don’t regret it, of course.”
Why do we do that?
Because we’re desperate for people to believe we can do more, that we ARE more than just this—this child-rearing, laundry-sorting, jelly-spreading life. We’re chest-deep in homework and play practice and potty training, and we wonder if the rest of the world values this carpool and crackers lifestyle, this unglamorous existence for which we traded all our worldly potential.
But I have to ask. Why do we care? Let’s not forget God’s measure of a successful woman is quite different from the modern yard stick.
“She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: ‘Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.’ Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised,” (Proverbs 31:26–30).
That Proverbs 31 woman was one busy chick. She got up early to make breakfast for her household. She spun wool with her own fingers and sewed it into clothes and quilts. This lady ran a trading business on the side and managed her money well. She’s strong and smart and nothing but kind and respectful to her husband—seriously?!? She was the classic super mom! Darn her.
And yet, what does God really value most about her in the end?
She is a woman who fears the Lord.
We all have the opportunity to do that—to make faith in God our top priority—whether we’re stay-at-home moms, working moms, or anywhere in between.
So let me help you see your job with new eyes today.
If you can balance a grocery budget on one income, you still work in finance.
If you can read books to a wiggly three-year-old and instruct a first-grader not to pick her nose in public, then you are still a teacher.
If you wash skinned knees and hold a child’s barf bucket at midnight, you are still a skilled and compassionate nurse.
If you can convince a toddler to swallow a cooked vegetable, you still have a knack for advertising.
If you sing lullabies to calm colic and soothe a babe to sleep, then your work is as meaningful as any stage musician’s.
And if you pray, trust God, and give this crazy mom life up to His greater plan, then you, my dear, are a woman worthy of praise.
So. The next time somebody asks you, what do you do?—tell them this.
I fear the Lord. Do you?
Blessings,
Becky
Oh my gosh, Becky, you are definitely a wise woman. I love your writing style, and God has certainly blessed you. My daughter is a stay-at-home mom after getting her teaching degree. I’ll be forwarding this to her. Thank you for the great reminder of who we are as women!
I would love to connect with Ariel, Tami! We moms need to stick together. It’s so fun to hear from you here!
Your writing is absolutely phenomenal. Great post, Becky.
You are too generous, Monica. I appreciate you, my fellow writing friend!
Love, love, love, love this post. Thank you! I have been home with my daughter one year now and sometimes you just need a reminder of the value in this work, too. Thank you!
What you do MATTERS greatly, Stacy! Blessings to you and your family!
Thanks so much for your wisdom! This was exactly the encouragement that I needed on this typical, hectic morning! I am so thankful for how God is using you and your ministry!
And I’m thankful for your kind encouragement, Erin!
I’m guilty of doing this, too. What I used to do before kids. But being home with my kids isn’t anything to be ashamed of, I’m really quite lucky to be able to have been home with them.
So true, Shell. Staying home is a blessing for sure.
I love this! I feel the same way. I start way too many sentences with “I used to…” It should be more than enough to stay home with my kids. I read somewhere that if stay at home moms got paid for the hours we work and the skill we had to possess we would make well over $100,000 per year. So there’s that.
Funny, I get paid mostly in kisses and leftover Cheetos. It’s a beautiful life. 🙂
Oh I do this all the time, and I hate myself for it. Why can’t we just be proud of our choices.
I think we are proud of our choices… we just fear the people who aren’t. Silly, isn’t it? Thanks for reading, Julia!
I don’t know that I’ve heard the Proverbs 31 Woman’s life summed up in quite such an eloquent and succinct way, Becky. “She’s a woman who fears the Lord!” Now, that I can do! All the other stuff, well, it’s icing on the cake … Cake that you so beautifully served up to inspire us–the advertisers, the teachers, the nurses, etc. So happy to be His hands and feet in so many ways as moms and wives.:)
Yes, Beth, I love that thought – we are His hands and feet. And we are blessed!
Wow, wow, wow. What a beautiful yet convicting post! I have been a SAHM for 6 months now and still hang on to my “But I used to work in Marketing” line 😉 I stay at home with my son and do freelance on the side, I say. It’s true, really, but staying at home will ALWAYS take priority over my side job.
After cooking for my husband and son, cleaning up the house, doing laundry, and baking new treats, heck I don’t even want to design! What an adventure staying-at-home has been so far… it’s rewarding beyond belief 🙂
Thank you for sharing this beautiful post!
Welcome to the SAHM adventure, Amy! I agree, it’s rewarding and challenging and valuable above all. My kids teach me something new every day. Thank you so much for reading and sharing your thoughts!
This is a fabulous post!! I agree with the other comments…you have such a knack for putting the daily life, and the mommy challenges into a completely relatable way. And always with an encouraging twist. Love your posts! And I’ve said the VERY same thing on many occasions…”I’m a um…mom…and a…um…freelance writer… sort of…when I’m not completely overwhelmed by motherhood!”
Love this! Thank you so much for the reminder of who I really am and what God actually expects of me. This was full of lovely Truth!
Thanks for linking up to Thrive @ Home Thursday!
Thanks for hosting the link-up, Amy! Good to see you here!
I LOVE THIS! I am definitely guilty of saying “I’m a stay at home mom, BUT” and I didn’t even realize I was doing this. I love your perspective. Thanks for sharing God’s word 🙂
Yay, Lauren! You are a stay-at-home mom, AND – that’s enough! Blessings!
Wow… Incredible… That’s one amazing article with pure simple truth that we always find so difficult to realize…
All I know is from now on I am never going to finish my introductions with “I used to be..” .. I know what I am now … Blessed…
Amen, Charanya. Blessed indeed!