Becky Kopitzke

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Love Is Not Easily Angered

February 13, 2012

“Love is patient, love is kind. . .it is not easily angered,” (from 1 Corinthians 13:4–5).

Oh, how I’ve failed at this one. If you’ve been to any wedding in the last century, chances are somebody stood at a podium and read from 1 Corinthians 13. Love is patient, love is kind. . . Love is not easily angered. That scripture passage is such a beautiful picture of what human relationships are meant to achieve. The words are cozy and familiar, yet I neglect time and again to put them into action.

To illustrate, I’ll share an actual screenplay from the Kopitzke show.

        Husband: Those noodles are done.

        Me: I’m cooking supper. Let me decide when the noodles are done.

        Husband: I was just trying to help.

        Me: No you weren’t. You were telling me what to do.

Easily angered? Whoops, yes indeed. See, there are two conversations going on here: the actual dialogue, and the Becky translation (BT). That’s the version containing imagined details and connotations. Let’s replay the scene—this time with subtitles.

Husband: Those noodles are done.
BT: You don’t know how to cook noodles, wifey.

Me: I’m cooking supper. Let me decide when the noodles are done.
BT: I have a college degree, too, buddy. You’re not the only smart one in this family. Just because you’re slinging a briefcase and I’m sporting this pretty apron doesn’t mean I’m incompetent. I can handle the noodles! Get out of my space!

Husband: I was just trying to help.
BT: You don’t know how to cook noodles, wifey.

Me: No you weren’t. You were telling me what to do.
BT: I can’t do anything right. You’re always criticizing me. Just let me live in peace, man! I know how to cook the stupid noodles!

I love my husband. But I sure don’t show it sometimes. My responses aren’t just angry, they’re ridiculous. When I fly off the handle over silly situations, I am stomping all over 1 Corinthians, as if God didn’t really mean those verses for me.

Of course he did. I’m a wife, I’m a mom, I’m human. I was created to love.

In relationships, we have a choice, and it goes much deeper than deciding whether or not to be irritated. I must first choose to believe my husband has good intentions. It’s basic, but as wives I think we lose sight of this far too often.

My husband is not my enemy. He doesn’t wake up every morning plotting his next attack. He loves me. He means well. Even if his words don’t come out right, they are not darts aimed at my heart. Retaliation is the wrong answer. My husband deserves the benefit of my doubt. He deserves my love.

And what is love? It is patient, it is kind. It is not easily angered. It cooks a perfect pot of noodles and smiles when the Mister offers to clear the dishes.

What, you don’t like the way I stack the plates in the dishwasher?

Time to scratch the BT. The only translation I need is the one in my Bible case. This week, in honor of Valentine’s Day, I’m planning to memorize 1 Corinthians 13. Will you join me?

If this post encouraged you, please feel free to pass it on! You might also like The Mirror and Confessions of a Hunter’s Wife.

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Linking up with The Alabaster Jar: Marital Oneness Mondays and To Love, Honor and Vacuum: Wifey Wednesdays.

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Filed Under: Homemaking, Household, Marriage, Mom Mess-ups, Taming the Tongue, Wife Mess-ups

Comments

  1. Lisa Van Wyk says

    February 13, 2012 at 8:19 pm

    Ha! I’ve just recently finished memorizing this one with my kids. i love that we are always on the same page. your my other good half. how many halfs can one actually have? 🙂 I can’t tell you how much this also translates into how your kids will treat each other and how quickly and easily these words will check their behavior and intentions. It’s a family affair.

    • Becky says

      February 13, 2012 at 8:34 pm

      Lisa, you bless me to a hundred halves plus more! Thank you for pointing out that my children need these words, too. That’s more fuel for my motivation to memorize this week! Thank you!

  2. Erica {let why lead} says

    February 13, 2012 at 8:33 pm

    So sweet. The line “I was created to love” really touched me, and I think I will be a better wife and mother today by repeating that in my mind. Thank you!

    • Becky says

      February 13, 2012 at 8:36 pm

      What a blessing to see you here today, Erica! For anybody reading these comments, click on Erica’s name to check out her blog. It’s full of great thoughts and honest family stories!

  3. Jami Leigh@Young Wifes Guide says

    February 13, 2012 at 9:52 pm

    What a great post! Thank you 🙂

    I came over from the Better Mom link up. So glad that I did!!

    You captured what goes on in my brain perfectly!!!! 😉 I think I need to show this to my hubby to let him in on my internal dialogue! I’m following you know and can’t wait to read more!

  4. Becky says

    February 13, 2012 at 10:00 pm

    Welcome, Jami Leigh! Thank you for stopping by! I wonder if our husbands have their own internal dialog, hmmm… I will have to ask mine tonight. 🙂 Or maybe I don’t want to know!

  5. Jaimie says

    February 14, 2012 at 4:40 am

    I’m another Jaimie from the Better Mom linkup, and also glad I’m here!! 🙂

    I have actually just been thinking/writing about this lately…my husband does NOT intentionally attack/hurt me (except on rare occasions). I tend to be overly sensitive and take things WAY too personally…and that doesn’t work well. Thanks for this encouragement and reminder!

    • Becky says

      February 14, 2012 at 12:21 pm

      Welcome, Jaimie! I’m with you – oversensitive! A soft heart can be a good thing, too. God made us that way! We just have to apply it in ways that bless others, not tear them down. Ah, I’m still not perfect! Thanks for reading!

  6. MPW says

    February 14, 2012 at 12:01 pm

    Your BTs were hilarious! But isn’t that exactly how the minds of women tend to wander and create scenes that aren’t really there. I’m going to put this in my “Save it for when you get married” archive file. 🙂 I’m sure I’ll need to reference it. Heck, I need to reference it now. 🙂 Thank you for reminding us of the character of true love.

    • Becky says

      February 14, 2012 at 12:23 pm

      I love that you keep a “save for marriage” file! I have one of those for the “parenting teenagers” years. 🙂

  7. momto8 says

    February 14, 2012 at 6:13 pm

    well if one person hints I am doing something other than the way I am doing it I just let them COMPLETELY take over…I cannot believe how this works…I hoped they would learn to hold their tongue and appreciate others… but. actually they are afraid to complain about anything b/c then they know they get stuck doing it.

  8. Gail Purath says

    February 16, 2012 at 9:00 pm

    I love the noodle situation…I’ve done that kind of “talking in my head” far too often too! And I love your line “I am stomping all over 1 Corinthians, as if God didn’t really mean those verses for me.”
    Good thoughts! Thanks for being honest and encouraging us to love our husbands.
    I’d love to have you join Bless a Blogger which opens today. It’s a new hop, but we’re hoping to grow. url: http://biblelovenotes.blogspot.com/p/friday-blog-hop.html
    Thanks,
    Gail

  9. Sara @ Embracing Destiny says

    February 17, 2012 at 10:24 pm

    This sounds so familiar. I have trouble taming my tongue sometimes and 1 Corinthians is so very, very convicting. Ouch! Thanks for sharing this. I’m following your blog now.

    • Becky says

      February 20, 2012 at 1:53 am

      Welcome, Sara! Thank you for joining us each week for Time Out devotions!

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Meet Becky.

If you love your kids but you sometimes forget to feed them lunch, if you're crazy about your husband but some days you want to set his hunting gear on fire, and if you adore Jesus with your whole heart yet you mess up time and time again, then you and I are friends already.

We need each other. I'm so glad you're here.

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