Becky Kopitzke

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If Growing Up Makes Your Heart Hurt

August 23, 2016

CHRISTIAN PARENTING TIPS | RAISING KIDS | RAISING CHILDREN | BACK TO SCHOOL | PARENTING TIPS | PARENTING HACKS | BACK TO SCHOOL TIPS | BACK TO SCHOOL ADVICE | PARENTING ADVICE | PARENTING TIPS NEEDED | PARENTING AND RAISING KIDS

I have a love-hate relationship with the school year. Even before my girls were old enough to carry a pencil, I’d push a stroller past our neighborhood school and feel a lump lodging in my throat as I watched other moms drop their kids off at the door.

If-Growing-Up-Makes-Heart-Hurt

When my oldest was just three weeks in this world, I sat on the sofa with her snuggled in my arms, bawling at the television. Why? Because I was hormonal and dumb enough to watch a replay of Father of the Bride on TBS. And in that scene where Steve Martin gives Kimberly Williams away at the altar, I thought of how one day I’d have to hand my newborn baby over to college, and would she ever call me? Would she be alright out there in the big bad world? How would I ever live without her in my reach, wrapped safe in my mommy arms where nobody could ever hurt her?

When my girls grew old enough to go to school, I struggled. On one hand, it’s beautiful to see them blossoming into more of who God designed them to be. On the other hand, I miss them. I miss their presence in my home, I miss their dependence on me, I miss the little people they used to be.

I fear them growing up. Is that terrible?

Do you feel it, too?

My kids, your kids—they are always growing, always changing, always gaining new vocabulary words and busting out of their shoes. Why is that so hard for a mother to bear?

Tomorrow begins a new school year for us, once again. We say goodbye to summer freedom and hello to first and fourth grade (oh my!). So I suppose my girls are still young, yes. Nobody is applying to colleges just yet.

But they’re not my babies anymore.

And let us remember—that is a good thing.

“And Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and man” (Luke 2:52).

What would this world be like if babies weren’t meant to grow? If the ultimate Child of God had never blossomed, matured, and completed the work God designed him to do?

Our primary job as Christians is to love Jesus and become more like him. Which means our primary job as parents is to guide our children to do the same. That is why they enter the school stage. That is why we train them up to let them go. That is why each new year, each new shoe size, and every new lesson learned is not just necessary but altogether wonderful.

And one day, for us and for our children, after we have raised them in Jesus’ name and fervently prayed them through their doubts and rebellion until we’re not just moms and kids but sisters and brothers in Christ, age will matter no more. All believers will be united in Glory where—if God is really good—perhaps there will be no school at all. Could it be?! Heaven is perpetual summertime?!? Woot!!

Yeah, let’s go with that.

Happy school year, friends. Whether your kids are tiny or they’re raising babies of their own, may you always embrace the season’s change and recognize it for what it is: God’s beautiful plan.

Blessings,
Becky

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Filed Under: Growing Pains, Letting Go, Parenting, Personal Growth & Faith, Trusting God

Comments

  1. Laurie B. says

    August 23, 2016 at 8:33 am

    Beautifully written! Thank you for sharing your gut and helping many put words to feelings.

    • Laurie B. says

      August 23, 2016 at 8:34 am

      Gift not gut

      • Becky says

        August 26, 2016 at 8:54 am

        😉

    • Becky says

      August 26, 2016 at 8:55 am

      Thank you for reading, Laurie!!

  2. Katie Jane says

    August 23, 2016 at 10:58 am

    Thanks Becky! I’ve been dealing with some changes in my life (no babies going to school) but difficult adjustments none the less. I needed the reminder that God always has a plan. This time of year always gets to me- as a kid I hated saying goodbye to summer!

    • Becky says

      August 26, 2016 at 8:54 am

      Yes! God ALWAYS has a plan, even when we can’t make sense of it. That’s why they call it blind faith, right? Sending you a hug!

  3. Beth says

    September 12, 2016 at 5:51 pm

    I am the exact same way!!!! My kids started a new school year last week and I am SO sad. I miss them SO very much it really hurts. My oldest son is in 6th, my daughter in 1st and a 2 year old at home. 🙂

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If you love your kids but you sometimes forget to feed them lunch, if you're crazy about your husband but some days you want to set his hunting gear on fire, and if you adore Jesus with your whole heart yet you mess up time and time again, then you and I are friends already.

We need each other. I'm so glad you're here.

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