“But at the beginning of creation God ‘made them male and female. . . For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate,” (Mark 10:6–9).
There’s nothing like a wedding to make a girl fall crazy in love—again.
Last Saturday, my brother-in-law got married. He’s 15 years younger than my husband, which makes us the wise older couple. After 11 years of marriage, two children and a minivan, hubby and I have this marriage thing down.
Or so I thought. Until a moment during the ceremony when the minister spoke these words.
“Marriage isn’t a vow you make once and for all on your wedding day. It’s a daily recommitment.”
Huh. A daily recommitment—to love, honor and cherish this person, in sickness and in health—every single stinking day, whether you feel like it or not.
I turned to look at my husband, the tallest groomsman on the altar, standing regal and proud among a line of young men. He’s still my groom, I thought. He’s still the one I love.
This man, whom I know beyond the tuxedo.
The one who mows the lawn in hole-torn jeans and a sweaty three-day beard.
The one who clutched my hand through childbirth and whispers bedtime stories to our girls.
The one who harbors dreams still not reached, and cheers me on toward mine.
I know his virtues. I know his faults. Do I still wake up every day vowing “I do”? When his hair peppers gray and he gains a few pounds. When we go to bed in silence the night before, angry and hurt. When other people or places start to look more interesting than this life we share. Will I lay it all on the altar again each morning and promise to love my husband most?
If there’s anything I’ve learned since my own wedding day, it’s that the exhilaration of new love fades. But it can grow to something deeper, something even stronger.
And commitment isn’t a feeling. It’s a choice.
Later that night, I watched with my heart stuck in my throat as my husband held our six-year-old daughter’s hands and spun her on the dance floor. Someday—in a blur of years like a single breath—I’ll look on this same scene at my daughter in shimmering white, and her daddy blinking back tears as he gives her away to her own husband, her own lifelong choice. And I pray it’ll be a good one.
Because marriage still matters. It’s the love of God growing through generations in good times and bad. And I’m going to choose it again and again, day after day, ‘til death do us part.
What a beautiful post, Becky. Yes, marriage and love are a day-by-day choice. And the times we love our spouses the most are in those moments when we’d rather shut them out because of the hurt we feel, but instead we commit to love them “warts and all.” Thanks for this inspiring, heart-felt and challenging word, my friend. I needed this reminder too. 🙂
You are my marriage mentor, Beth, so it means a great deal to me that you affirm this post! Thank you for reading each week, my friend. You are a blessing to me and many others!
Kim Adams Morgan says
Becky, If only all married couples could repeat this message daily! Thank you for the beautiful encouragement.
Thank you for reading, Kim! If just a few more married couples wake up today saying “I do” again because of this post, then God is at work and I’m grateful for the chance to share what he’s teaching me. Blessings!
Noelle Kirchner says
Your thoughts are poignant and faith-inspiring, as always! I resonate with your words on marriage. I too have been married for eleven years with two amazing kids, and I can honestly say, it keeps getting better!
We are on parallel journeys, Noelle! And I agree – it does keep getting better! Thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts!
alicia fortney says
Your posts always make me cry and I guess that’s a good thing 🙂 Thanks for what you do, it always touches my heart.
Thank YOU, Alicia. Your encouragement blesses me today.
I love this post… with baby #8 on the way, my husband and I have definitely seen many ups and downs together. Its the commitment that keeps us going through the tough times … and it is so worth it!
Beautiful! I love where your husband was spinning your daughter – and commitment – it is a choice – just like choosing to love the moments you don’t feel it! Thank you for sharing such sweet wisdom!
Beautiful post — it definitely is a commitment!
Stopping by from PYHO
Oh, Becky, I cry through every wedding these days- humbled by the awesome gift of marriage and always convicted by the realization that I take my man for granted too often. Happy re-wedding day 🙂
Yes, yes! We must choose intentionally to love, honor and cherish every day. The image you paint of watching your husband dance with your daughter-so beautiful!
Crystal Green says
Such a sweet wonderful post!! I was literally looking at my husband the other day and all of the changes life has bestowed upon his physical features (AND MINE) since we met over twenty years ago. I find that I still love him more now than I ever thought was even possible back then. Marriage is definitely a commitment, and when you put for the effort to follow through on those vows you made when you say “I do” is a true blessing.
I still believe in the power of marriage, and hope and pray that it doesn’t lose it’s value.
I love this- and it’s so how we think about marriage, too. Hubs and I know that it’s a constant commitment, a constant choice we make to love each other and be together.
Richella Parham says
As usual, this is beautifully written, Becky. You’re right on the money here. Commitment really is the key, isn’t it? And that’s a choice we make and re-make over and over.
I can imagine that weddings are especially poignant for the mother of girls!
I’m featuring you today at Grace at Home–thanks so much for linking up!
Kristin Hill Taylor says
Amen. Thanks for the reminder and encouragement.
living from glory to glory says
Hello, I want to tell you that your words always lift me up! I think this post on what the Pastor said to this couple is the truth and the only way this world can stay steady and on course. My sweet hubby and I have been married now 31 years and we are blessed to have been taught a few real secrets to a long commitment. I just did a post on commitment, but the black and white photo of an elderly Polish couple is priceless.
Blessings to You, Roxy
Bev Duncan says
Stopping by from Kristen’s Out of the Blue…you are spot on that commitment is a choice and not a feeling. What a well written post and reminder!
Evanthia of merelymothers says
Your words definitely brought tears to my eyes! Marriage is hard work, but that’s also what makes it valuable. ALL relationships require hard work if we want them to blossom (with our parents, our kids, our friends), but sometimes it feels like our relationship with our spouse is the hardest one of all, because, as you say, we are “one flesh.” It feels most like an internal struggle. I have to say that each time I kneel down to pray, I ask for good health and patience, most of all, knowing this is what I need to make my relationships work 🙂
I love this, Becky! What a beautiful testimony that marriage is hard work, but SO worth it. You are so right. Commitment is a choice, not something that just magically happens when you say “I do.” Thanks for sharing.
Becky, Amen to all of this! I’ve been writing a lot lately about how marriage isn’t always easy, which is true. So, I love this call to renew that commitment daily! I’ll be sharing this around. Thanks! 🙂
Jen @ Being Confident of This
Thanks so much for sharing, Jen!
Jamie Walton says
I have been thinking about this very thing over the last few days–how the promise doesn’t end or re-start depending on how things are going. It’s ongoing, every minute, forever. He’s mine, and I (lucky girl) get to be his. Thank you for writing this. <3
This post popped up today in my pinterest… And like many of the fallowing readers it brought me tears to the eyes. That is so beautifully written!
We are married 7years soon, 4children… And only recently I realized on a deeper level: hey, I’m married! Hey, this is me husband!! It is the most beautiful thing there is, and it is so true…a every day choice I do all over again – and feel so blessed to see that this choice to marry him “limited me in what I can do… But multiplies in what I ca (be)come”‘!!!!