Becky Kopitzke

Devotions for Moms

How to Get the Life You Always Wanted

“You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you!” (Isaiah 26:3, NLT)

I sat on the edge of my daughter’s twin bed, stretching long legs across a pink hoot-owl comforter. Dusk seeped through the window blinds, shedding just enough fading daylight for my eyes to scan the familiar scenery.

In a bookcase on the wall, storybook spines lined the bottom shelf below stacks of cardboard puzzle boxes and early reader paperbacks. Stuffed animals, Velcro shoes, and a fraying jump rope lay strewn across the floor. In the corner of the room, a dollhouse held mini furniture lovingly arranged for a plastic family of six. Above it all, hazy blue Dream Light stars glowed on the ceiling.

I listened to the slow, steady breathing of two little girls drifting to sleep. And it occurred to me—this is as good as it gets.

I am blessed.

How to Get the Life You Always Wanted

But. Rewind a few hours, and my mind raced with different thoughts. Grumpy thoughts.

Dirty dishes on the table. Deadlines on my desk. Bills to pay. Groceries to buy.

That leak in the ceiling. Paint chips on the wall. Dust on the baseboards and juice in the carpet.

When can we build a new house? When can I afford a cleaning lady? Will my toddler ever ditch those Pull-Ups? How will I find time to bake cookies for the school picnic? And why are flights to Disney World so crazy expensive?

Is it summer yet?

That’s when I’ll be happy. When I have those things, carve that spare time, tie these loose ends and tidy this clutter. Then I’ll be content. Then I can rest.

Oh, really?

Sitting in my girls’ room in the twilight, I realized—I’ve got it all backwards.

Rest first.

Take a break from running and complaining. Breathe in, breathe out. Pray. Then I’ll open my eyes and discover—I’m already content.

A dear friend once told me she’s living her dream. Four kids crowd her house, the budget is tight, noise and mess are constant, and yet she reminds herself daily that this is what she wanted.

When did I forget? Fifteen years ago, floundering through our early post-college years, my friend and I both longed to be loved and settled. We wanted husbands, a mortgage, and our own laundry machines. We dreamed of ordinary family life, not because it’s glamorous, but because it’s meaningful.

And now I have it.

So what’s the problem?

Worry.

Distractions.

Coveting.

Complaints.

Infections, all of them. They inflame my perspective and steal my joy. But I’ve discovered a cure.

Stillness.

If I really sit quiet for a minute and take a look around, I can see with crystal clarity—I’m already living the life I always wanted. It might be messy, yes. Cluttered, hectic, and imperfect, absolutely.

But it’s beautiful. And it’s mine.

I don’t need to focus ahead to that elusive house upgrade or a Florida vacation. I’m in the center of God’s blessings right here, right now. Who knew they’d smell like peanut butter and leaky Pull-Ups? Sometimes I think we expect God to show up all shiny and clean. But the truth is he’s in the muck with us every day. We just have to focus our hearts to find him.

So will you join me? Let’s shut off our racing brains for a minute and take a look around. I hope you’ll see what I see.

We’re already blessed.

Blessings,
Becky

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Comments

  1. I’ve been blessed reading your post. As a mother of grown children and grandmother of 7, I look forward to those days when I can once again experience all the “muck” and busyness of little children in my home. Precious, busy times.

    • Thank you, Nancy! You’ve reminded me to appreciate the sticky fingers and the shoes on the floor. Someday my house will be tidy and quiet, and I know part of me will miss the activity. Precious times indeed.

  2. This is exactly where God has been taking me too, Becky–to the realization that I already have my “heart’s desire.” I so resonate with this and always love sipping down your sweet words like a tall glass of lemonade on a hot summer day. Yay! Summer is almost here … but then, “This is the day the Lord has made and I will rejoice and be glad in it!” Love ya!

  4. Your post is beautiful – life is beautiful! It’s okay for us to dream, set goals, and work to acheive them, as long as we are doing it together with God. The trick is to be content along the way regardless. Stillness, peacefulness, and thanksgiving – what blessings admist our chaoticness, and what a blessed reminder. Thanks, Becky!

    • So true, Noelle – the trick is to be content regardless. “I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength,” (Philippians 4:12a-13). I want to be able to say that and mean it.

  5. Beautiful! Thank you for this encouragement. It’s the Monday after a week of vacation for me and I’ve been struggling a bit to get back into rhythm. I needed this reminder that it’s okay, and that this truly is the life I wanted.

  6. {Melinda} Love this. Yes, I live a very imperfect life, too, but I am so blessed. Far more than I deserve. I had a difficult weekend with some disappointments that rattled my world. Centering on God, His sufficiency and my blessings makes a big difference.

    • I’m sorry to hear you had a tough weekend, Melinda. I prayed for God to hold you in his steady grasp.

    • Counter-cultural, yes. Maybe that’s part of the reason I struggle to rest. But when I do, I’m so much better off! Thanks for reading, Diane!

  8. Oh, YES, rest realigns our vision, doesn’t it? And you’re speaking right to my heart today (really, what’s new. i think i say that EVERY TIME). This makes me smile and thank Him– “I’m in the center of God’s blessings right here, right now. Who knew they’d smell like peanut butter and leaky Pull-Ups? Sometimes I think we expect God to show up all shiny and clean. But the truth is he’s in the muck with us every day. We just have to focus our hearts to find him.” THANK YOU for pointing me back to the truth. I AM living the life of my dreams. Beyond my dreams on most days! Happy Monday!

    • You and I both, Alicia – living the dream! Today my blessings smell like grilled cheese and laundry detergent. How about yours?

  9. Beyond blessed to have stumbled here today … Hope you don’t mind if I splash around a bit to get to know you. This looks like a refreshing place to dip into some serious momma goodness.

    Splashin’
    Sarah

    PS I have a tiny puddle in blog land. But just posted on being a mom. I would love to have this post linked up, to encourage my readers. Well, ANY of your posts, to encourage my readers. You can find the link here …
    http://justsarahdawn.blogspot.com/2013/05/gloppy-joy.html

  11. And after a day like yesterday…after Oklahoma…this ordinary life with the breathing in and out is the most beautiful thing in the world.

  12. This is good, Becky … sometimes we just need to be still, to reflect, to ponder, to get every scattered thought into a right, grace-laced perspective. So many blessings, so much gratitude … even during times of crisis.

    Linda

  13. yes. I have to constantly remind myself of what I have and to be thankful for that instead of thinking I can’t be happy until I have the things on my want list.

    • That want list is never ending, isn’t it? We check some off, we add some more. The trick is to learn to be content right where we are.

  14. Dear Becky, sweet woman of God. I am new here but wanted to stop a moment and say well done. What you have written here is so right. And many momma’s need reminding because we do forget. So I am going to share with my young momma friends. 🙂

    My children are now gone but I still remember that moment when they were teens and some one ask me if my life was as I thought it would be. I thought long and hard before I answered. I said it was far better than I ever hoped or imagined.

    I never pursued a career, we lived off one income. We have a beautiful home. We always had what was needed, not much more. But I wouldn’t change it for the world. I was content (when I would stop and be still). I was happy, fulfilled and so blessed.

    • Sharon, thank you so much for your encouraging comments. I really value the wise perspective from moms a stage ahead. You’ve reminded me of the value in my current choices and convictions. Blessings to you today!

  15. No children here, so I’m looking at this from a little different perspective, but this hit me just where I needed it too. I’ve found myself in a place in life that is challenging and exhausting, but fulfilling. I know I would be much more content if I could just chill out and enjoy it! Thanks for this reminder, I needed it.

  18. This post has blessed me so much. I have known that I constantly “wait” for everything for a while now, only recently did I choose to stop and be happy, completely happy and content in the NOW. It’s nice to know that someone else feels the same way too.

    P.S. I’ve been pouring over your blog. There are so many wise words and so many posts that cause me to cry because I have felt the same exact way or done the same exact thing. Sometimes all we need is to know that someone else feels and does the same things too. Sometimes all we need is to realize that no one is perfect. People say it all the time but it is oh so true. Now if only all of us moms could get it, really GET it. And let perfect go.

Trackbacks

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  9. […] want to love the stage I’m in right now, every day, good and bad, joys and frustrations. Because discontentment is a liar and a thief. This is the day the Lord has made—yes, even this one—and I will rejoice in it. Will you join […]

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