Becky Kopitzke

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How I Saw Jesus in a Hairbrush: A Story About Showing Grace to Our Friends

March 25, 2013

I’m a bad borrower. I mean well, but I keep stuff too long.

Last week, a friend sent me this text:

“If you think of it, can you bring my Redeeming Love book to Bible study tomorrow? Thanks!”

How I saw Jesus in a hairbrush

I stared at my cell phone and felt a burning sensation creep into my cheeks. I still have that book?! Didn’t she lend me that, like, two years ago? No way—please tell me I gave it back.

So I tripped downstairs to the bookshelf. Sure enough, there it was, stacked on top of a pile of novels: Redeeming Love. Darn it! Worse yet, I found three other hijacked books whose rightful owners must be cursing my name.

And that’s not all.

My TV cabinet still holds a DVD lent to me in 2009.

My sister’s maternity jacket lives in my closet. I kept it through my last pregnancy—and hers.

Twice a year, our local library pardons overdue fines if we donate nonperishable goods. I mark this event on my calendar and hit the tuna sales at Festival.

Once, somebody lent me a paintbrush and I lost it. My husband found it stashed in an empty suitcase six months later. Don’t ask me how it got there. I’m still stumped.

Ugh! I don’t want to be a thief. I just can’t seem to get it together in this area. I used to berate myself for it, but over the years I’ve accepted this flaw, and now for the sake of all parties involved I’ll politely refuse whenever anyone offers to lend me anything. Really, it’s for the best. You need your can opener more than I do.

Yet understand this. Yes, I am a terrible borrower—but that does not make me a terrible friend.

I might hoard your things. But I won’t neglect your heart. I’ll handle your thoughts, your hopes, and your dreams with care. I’ll share your laughter and your sadness.

Because this little borrowing flaw of mine? It does not own me. None of my flaws can.

Only God gets that job.

“He saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that, having been justified by his grace, we might become heirs having the hope of eternal life,” (Titus 3:5–7).

Do you have some quirks you can’t shake? Do you beat yourself up over shortcomings or social blunders? Maybe you’re the friend who’s always late. Or you’re notorious for saying the wrong thing at the wrong time. Maybe you forget birthdays, dinner plans, or names.

So what? Not a single one of us is perfect, and yet God chooses to love us. We can do the same for each other.

My friend did. I met her at the doors to Bible study last week with my eyes to the carpet and her book in my guilty hands. She laughed and pulled a gift from her purse—a fancy hairbrush for my daughters, just like the one belonging to her own daughter, which I’d admired the last time we visited. Of course she didn’t offer to lend me hers, smart woman. This brush was brand spanking new, still in the packaging.

Imagine that. I messed up, and my friend responded by giving me a gift I don’t deserve.

Who does that sound like?

My prayer for all of us is this: May you know the redeeming love of your Savior, and the kindness of friends who reflect his grace.

Blessings,
Becky

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Filed Under: Friendship, God's Love, Grace and Mercy, Growing Pains, Humility, Mom Mess-ups

Comments

  1. Alicia says

    March 25, 2013 at 1:12 pm

    Oh, I’m a horrible borrower, too. Love the hairbrush grace from your friend and the smile your words always plant on my face. Happy Easter to you, too, Becky!

    • Becky says

      March 25, 2013 at 7:03 pm

      You, too, Alicia? I knew it. We really are soul sisters. 🙂

  2. laughwithusblog says

    March 25, 2013 at 1:39 pm

    Oh my. That reminds me of a cookbook sitting on my shelf! You are not alone!

    • Becky says

      March 25, 2013 at 7:03 pm

      Ha ha! Now be nice and give it back. Unless you can’t remember who lent it to you… 🙂

  3. Nancy Sturm says

    March 25, 2013 at 3:09 pm

    Such a wonderful story about our imperfections and how much we’re loved in spite of them. Thanks!

    • Becky says

      March 25, 2013 at 7:03 pm

      Thank you for reading, Nancy!

  4. Beth says

    March 25, 2013 at 3:45 pm

    God is reminding me a lot lately how he loves me “warts and all.” Oh, how I hate “my warts” but I suppose that’s a reminder of how perfect and deep His love is–that it can surpass my ugliness and sin. What a wonderful Savior we share, Becky. And the good news is, we don’t have to give Him back! Yay God!

    • Becky says

      March 25, 2013 at 7:04 pm

      Amen, Beth! Nothing can separate us from the love of God. Is there anything better than that?

    • Beth says

      March 27, 2013 at 11:57 pm

      Thanks for linking up with Wedded Wed, Becky, and for coming by to encourage Heather as well! 🙂

  5. Kendra says

    March 25, 2013 at 9:59 pm

    What a great story, Becky! A reminder that we are not defined by our (many!) imperfections, but by our acceptance of Christ as our Savior, and by God’s grace.

    It was also a fun reminder that when we are called to love one another, it doesn’t have to be in grand ways – leave that to Almighty God and His Son who are so good at loving us in gigantic ways! For each other, even the little gestures of love (a note, a comforting hand on a shoulder, a hairbrush!) matter. This is something I needed to be reminded of today! When we’re feeling lower than we’d like and in need of some comfort ourselves, it can be easy to think we don’t have enough extra love inside us to give to others. It feels like it would take so much extra energy. But, a hairbrush! Wow. Time for me to brainstorm easy ways to love on people today. It occurs to me that even if all I can manage is a smile, with God’s grace, that is enough.

    Thanks for inspiring me today!

    • Becky says

      March 26, 2013 at 2:27 am

      Your comment truly encourages me, Kendra. Thank you for reading!

  6. Noelle Kirchner says

    March 26, 2013 at 12:12 am

    Thanks for this great reminder that we don’t have to be perfect! Better yet, we can even mess up and find God’s grace in faith. You have a great comedic style in writing, Becky, and I appreciate your words this Easter!

    • Becky says

      March 26, 2013 at 2:26 am

      Thank you for reading, Noelle! It’s great to see you back here.

  7. Robin says

    March 26, 2013 at 2:05 am

    You still have my maternity jacket?! lol 🙂

    • Becky says

      March 26, 2013 at 2:25 am

      No, I have Sarah’s! The whole time she was pregnant with Kingston… yep, still have it.

  8. Paula @ Beauty Through Imperfection says

    March 26, 2013 at 3:20 am

    i love your perspective on this! You do have flaws, but they don’t destroy you as a person!!! I need to get better about not berating myself for my shortcomings! thanks for this Becky!!! <3

  9. 3dlessons4life says

    March 26, 2013 at 4:04 am

    After reading this post, I think we could be friends … 🙂

    • Becky says

      April 2, 2013 at 3:10 pm

      🙂

  10. Nancy@ThereIsGrace says

    March 26, 2013 at 4:21 am

    What a wonderful post, and a great reminder to extend grace that we’ve been so freely given. Thanks! Stopping in from The Better Mom Monday link-up!

    • Becky says

      April 2, 2013 at 3:10 pm

      Thanks for stopping by, Nancy!

  11. Laura Boggess says

    March 26, 2013 at 8:58 pm

    What a gracious friend you have :). Fessing up–I’m kind of bad about this too. So grace like this is something that gets my attention :). Happy Easter to you, Becky! May the joy of the Resurrection fill you.

    • Becky says

      April 2, 2013 at 3:10 pm

      I think we need to start a bad borrowers club. There are more of us than I realized. 🙂

  12. Chelsea @ Married Filing Jointly says

    March 27, 2013 at 2:46 pm

    Aw, that’s the worst feeling! Thank goodness for grace right? Would love to have you share this at our Give Me the Goods link party.

    http://www.marriedfiling-jointly.com/2013/03/give-me-goods-party-1.html

    ~Chelsea @ Married Filing Jointly

  13. Gina says

    March 27, 2013 at 4:53 pm

    Aw, don’t worry your not alone!!! We all do it at some point in life! I would rather a friend take my can opener then my heart… That’s the truth….Love the post Fill free to visit me soon:)

  14. Esther Joy says

    March 28, 2013 at 12:47 am

    Sweet honest post!

    Easter Blessings!

  15. Nykiah says

    March 28, 2013 at 1:03 am

    I always anticipate the arrival of your name in my google reader app.I can never get enough of your stories. They are so inspiring to me. You are certainly a great writer 🙂

    Check out how this story moved me at howtotrainasuperhero.com

    I also referenced your blog.

    • Becky says

      April 2, 2013 at 3:11 pm

      Thank you for reading and sharing, Nykiah!

  16. Xiomara | Equis Place says

    March 28, 2013 at 3:02 am

    You’re not alone in that department! Thank you for sharing this anecdote and the lovely message with us.

    • Becky says

      April 2, 2013 at 3:17 pm

      Thanks for reading!

  17. Shell says

    March 29, 2013 at 3:22 pm

    So thankful for forgiving friends. I’m terrible at borrowing and forgetting to return!

    • Becky says

      April 2, 2013 at 3:12 pm

      You, too, Shell? Good to know. Join my bad borrowers club. 🙂

  18. Patsy Paterno says

    April 1, 2013 at 2:21 am

    This post reminds me of the garage sale I went to yesterday. I BOUGHT my own book! My sister in law borrowed it a couple of years ago, I forgot about it. A few weeks ago I was looking for it and couldn’t find it. When I saw the book yesterday I was so happy and bought it, only to find out it was the book she borrowed from me! Makes a good story and alls well that ends well. At least she didn’t price it high and I won’t tell her. She is a wonderful person and soooo generous and loving. Can’t match her in that department! I think it’s wonderful how God made so many different types of people with wonderful and not so wonderful qualities. We can learn from each other and practice loving! Patsy

    • Sarah Brooks says

      April 2, 2013 at 2:56 pm

      Patsy, that is TOO funny!!!!! What a sweet good sis-in-law you are! 🙂

    • Becky says

      April 2, 2013 at 3:13 pm

      Ha ha ha ha! That is a classic story, Patsy! I agree with Sarah. You are a fantastic sister-in-law. Thank you so much for sharing!

  19. Amy Sullivan says

    April 1, 2013 at 10:41 am

    Clicking over via Alicia, and I must confess, I’m a bad borrower.

    Recently, a friend who is moving asked for a book back that she lent me over a year ago. In searching it out (thank goodness I found it!) I found FIVE others of hers on my shelf. Geesh, a mini-library.

    Anyway, nice bouncing around your space this morning!

    • Becky says

      April 2, 2013 at 3:14 pm

      I am laughing, Amy. Your bookshelf sounds a lot like mine! Thanks for reading!

  20. Sarah Brooks says

    April 2, 2013 at 3:02 pm

    Oh darnit Becky, you’ve gone and made me cry. What a wonderful post!!! Seriously, I LOVE IT!!!!! You also made me laugh. Because of this little borrowing flaw of mine? It does not own me. None of my flaws can.
    Only God gets that job.” This is going up on my white board this week!

    • Becky says

      April 2, 2013 at 3:16 pm

      Wow, the white board, what an honor! 🙂 All praise and glory to God who loves us in spite of our flaws and mistakes, right? I have MANY of them. So I suppose I will just keep writing about them, in solidarity with my fellow bad borrowers and such. Blessings to you and your family today, Sarah!

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  1. If You Were in My House Today says:
    May 19, 2014 at 6:54 am

    […] you were in my house today, you’d trip over a heap of past-due library books my children still haven’t read. Tomorrow, we’ll return them to the library along with three […]

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Meet Becky.

If you love your kids but you sometimes forget to feed them lunch, if you're crazy about your husband but some days you want to set his hunting gear on fire, and if you adore Jesus with your whole heart yet you mess up time and time again, then you and I are friends already.

We need each other. I'm so glad you're here.

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