“And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love,” (1 Corinthians 13:13).
I sketched a smiley face on her lunchbox note, snapped a few front porch pictures, then boarded the minivan and drove to school. This, our first day of first grade—and my heart ached at how fast the summer flew.
How does a momma cope?
Two words: Cleaning. Rampage.
All morning long, I tore through a summer’s accumulation of misplaced toys, scattered books, construction paper drawings and markers without caps. I packed up outgrown shoes and swept lost stuffed animals from under beds. I reunited dolls with dollhouses, puzzle pieces with their boxes, and tossed dozens of ponytail holders and hair clips back into the bathroom drawer.
My quest—to reclaim control of my household, now that I’d lost sole control of my child.
Sniffle, sniff.
When I reached the refrigerator art, however, I froze. For the first moment since classroom drop-off, a smile cracked my focus. These juvenile paintings, crayon sketches and love notes, stuck on top of each other with magnets—they spoke to me. I pulled them down, one by one, savoring every sweet misspelling and watercolor rainbow.
Suddenly, everywhere I turned, I saw visions of summer with my kids. The bead necklaces we strung. The library rewards they earned. Our bucket list, mostly checked off, tacked to the wall with such high hopes in June. Now each pencil-dashed line is a deposit in our treasure chest of family memories.
Exhaling, I placed the crinkled art sheets gently in a keepsake file, closed the flap and said goodbye to summer. Goodbye to lazy freedom. Goodbye to cartwheel-spinning age 6 and Care Bear swimsuit age 3. Until next June, when we’ll all be a little older and a little wiser and never again exactly who we are today.
Yes, it’s all part of growing up, I know. Kids go to school and moms let go. Yet sometimes I think school requires more courage from the parents than the kids. It takes brave faith to pack up the kiddie pool and move on.
When the afternoon pick-up hour arrived at last, I hugged my lanky first-grader and she chattered all the way home, about recess friends and bathroom rules and the flowers her teacher placed on each desk. As soon as we walked in the kitchen door, she tossed her backpack in a corner and ran for the playroom.
“Wow, Mom, you picked up.” She reached for a hula-hoop and started spinning. Little sister skipped to her side and hurled superballs into the air. Within minutes, half the bins I’d so carefully de-cluttered were pulled from their shelves and emptied on the rug.
Seriously?! How rude! I’d spent an entire morning organizing every LEGO and tea party plate, and these kids thought nothing of ripping apart my heartfelt handiwork in seconds flat.
“Girls . . . “ I started to scold them, to remind them to please keep the house tidy now that Mom had the run of our space again. But I stopped short when I heard my three-year-old chirp these words to her big sister.
“We missed you today when you were at school! But now you are home and we can play crawling baby, want to? Want to?”
“Sure!” my six-year-old replied. “You can be the baby and I’ll be the mom, okay?” They held hands and wandered to their room, leaving the toy bins upturned and my heart in my throat.
What was I saying about keeping the house tidy?
Overrated.
All my day’s work unraveled when I realized once again that my home is not defined by its mess. It’s defined by the people who make the mess—and the memories. I love them dearly.
So bring on another school year of routines and homework and afternoon snacks. I’ll make the best of it. Until Christmas break, when another toy purge is in order. And then we’ll start all over again.
Clean.
Mess.
Love.
But the greatest of these is love.
Linking up with: The Better Mom, Playdates With God, Momma Notes, Titus 2sdays, Wifey Wednesday, Grace at Home, Thriving Thursdays and Things I Can’t Say.
As I was reading your post this morning, Becky, I thought about all the young moms who are facing the challenge of transitioning to the school year again. I’m so glad you can lend them a wise and loving perspective on what matters most. You offer such great ministry here, my friend. Praying it will grow and last!
I so appreciate your encouragement, Beth. We have a mutual respect for each other’s ministry, and that is such a great blessing to me!
This is such a great post. My kids are with me all the time and I tend to forget what it feels like to be without them. I do honestly treasure every moment I get with them.
I feel at times I get burned out though because I do have to tend to their every need all the time. They keep me hopping from sun up to well past sun down. Plus I have my own ambitions that I’m pursuing as well. At times I wonder if I’m pursuing God’s will or my own will with my ambitions, but when I think that another door is opened up that I wasn’t expecting to get it. So, I am reminded that God will give me the strength to trek on.
I am glad you posted this about how much we miss our kids when they are not with us, and that they do only grow up once. We only have right now to make our memories with them.The housework can wait. 😉
Thank you for reading and sharing your thoughts, Crystal. You’re right, our own strength runs dry, so I’m grateful God gives me what I need to do what he asks. Blessings to you and your family today!
I adore this post. It probably has something to do with the fact that I’m going through these same emotions and experiences right now. And school IS harder on the moms. 🙂
Clean, mess (both physically and emotionally :), love—it’s all tied up together, and I love it!
Boo hoo hoo – I am commiserating with you over the school drop-off, Erica! Always a joy to see you here. We’re in this together. 🙂
This was a lovely post… as a mom on the other end looking at two in high school who will be flying from the nest soon, I’m glad you see the joy in your little ones… mess and all. Stopping by from Playdates with God.
Thanks you for visiting from Playdates! Your wise perspective reminds me that my own little ones will grow up faster than I imagine. I want to embrace it all now… easier said than done sometimes.
What a great reminder! Our monkeys don’t return to school until next week, but at 11, 14, and (yikes!) 20, we know how quickly the time flies. Thanks for your words, Becky!
Thank you for reading, Kendra! I think I’ll blink and have a 20-year-old, too. Let’s all try to enjoy these messy days while we have them, right?
Becky,
This made me want to cry. I will echo what Beth said. It’s so easy to get caught up in wanting a clean home, but at what cost. The memories and the moments that might be lost because the family is not fully living in their home – think about that and the smiles on their faces; the laughter and joy. They are only young once, you will have a lifetime to tidy up once they are on their own. But then you will give anything for those messes! I’m your neighbor on Thriving Thursday.
Kim
Kim, thank you so much for stopping in from Crystal’s place! I straddle the fence between wanting to maintain some semblance of a tidy home and yet not wanting to miss the joy in the mess. Some days one side wins bigger than the other. It’s usually the messy days that make my kids the happiest. 🙂 Blessings to you and your family!
I did the cleaning rampage thing, too. And am having those same feelings of missing the freedom of summer.
I find solace in knowing summer will come again… 🙂
What is it … seems we all did the cleaning rampage. And I have my kids at home with me 🙂 Now that we have added 2 more, bringing our total t0 6 kiddos, my level of cleanliness had to go out the window. No more eating off of our floors (not that we ever really did), but plenty more giggles and spilling stuff on the floors. I think it balances out in the end.
Thanks bunches for splashing me today. I so enjoy when you link up with momma notes. Each Monday (thanks for the patience as we added 2 new princesses to our home) I start the chorus. Drop by any day of the week to add your notes. Just moms. Sharing our notes. Creating a melody.
Happy day,
Sarah
Thanks for hosting your link-up and taking a few minutes to stop by here, Sarah! It’s always fun to hear from you.