Becky Kopitzke

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When God Doesn’t Give Us What We Ask For

February 27, 2018

Yesterday I used my grocery store’s online order service for the first time. It was magical.

I mean, seriously—I clicked a few buttons the night before, and somebody else wheeled through the aisles while I slept. Somebody who wasn’t dragging along two children begging for Cheetos and complaining the dairy section is too cold. Then when I drove up to the pickup door—at the hour of my choosing—another somebody else loaded all the bags into my trunk. I didn’t have to lift a finger.

It was all so easy, so convenient, so on-demand.

Seems that’s the new American way.

We order whatever we need from anywhere in the world, and FedEx delivers two days later.

We control our television programming, our music, our podcasts—whenever we want, as much as we want.

We don’t even have to stand over a hot stove anymore to make a homemade meal. Toss it all in the Instant Pot, press a few buttons, and voila! Twenty minutes later, dinner is on the table.

I can order up so much of my life these days, it’s easy to forget—God doesn’t operate that way.

Have you ever prayed for one thing but gotten another? As if God didn’t quite read your order right.

We pray for sunshine, but God brings rain.

We pray for health, but God allows the flu, diabetes, cancer.

We pray for God to protect us and our loved ones, but sometimes tragedies and injustices happen.

And we want to know why.

But God, that’s not what I asked for! You got my order wrong! How could you do this to me?

Perhaps it’s time to revisit a core truth of our Christian faith.

“Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!” (Matthew 7:9–11)

The real question here is not why, but rather, what is the definition of good? To us, cancer is not good. Financial hardship is not good. Abuse, car accidents, losing a loved one—all these things are not good. They strip us down to our bones. They tear us apart inside. Yet God allows them! He even ordains them. Is that the work of a good God?

Well, think of it this way. What if we knew what God knows? What if we could see how our lives, our struggles and our victories, the things that slay us as well as the things that bring us joy, somehow fit perfectly within God’s all-encompassing plan for the universe as a whole? For a very good purpose.

Would we want it then? No matter how much it hurts?

Crazy—but yes. We really would.

In Matthew 7:11 the word “good” comes from the the Greek word “agathos,” which means “intrinsically good, good in nature, good whether it be seen to be so or not.” So no, pain does not feel good. Grief does not feel good. Not when we’re focused on ourselves and our little piece of the cosmic pie. Yet God is still and always—somehow, in ways we cannot fathom—good. Therefore, as Christ followers, our job and our privilege is to believe Him, trust Him, and lean on Him—whether we can understand Him or not.

“Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.” (Hebrews 11:1)

Consider this. What if our pain isn’t just for us? What if it’s playing a significant, God-designed role in eternity for all the kingdom of heaven? Can we find just a little bit of comfort in that? “For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all,” (2 Corinthians 4:17).

One day, all of God’s decisions will make sense, and our hope in the Lord will be proven right. Until then, we live by faith and not by sight. In a way, that kind of conviction takes the pressure off. We don’t need to have all the answers. We just need to trust.

For crying out loud, I trust a total stranger to do my grocery shopping for me. How can I not put so much more faith in a perfect, all-knowing, forever-loving God whose grace has saved me?

By all means, let’s continue taking advantage of modern American technology and convenience. I love my Instant Pot as much as the next gal. But let’s not allow our on-demand culture to taint our understanding of God.

He knows what we need and when we need it. He knows it better than we do. Which means next time we order sunshine and He gives us rain, let’s try something crazy.

Thank Him for the rain.

Blessings,
Becky

This post first appeared on TheCourage.

What to Read Next: If You Wonder What God Thinks of You

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    If you love your kids but you sometimes forget to feed them lunch, if you're crazy about your husband but some days you want to set his hunting gear on fire, and if you adore Jesus with your whole heart yet you mess up time and time again, then you and I are friends already.

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    📚Author of The Supermom Myth & Generous Love
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How are we supposed to do all the things, be all the things, and manage ALL THE THINGS without getting crabby, fed up, or burned out?
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Great questions. Maybe what you need right now is a wise friend... a mentor and coach who can help you sort it all out, point you to God's Word and help you discover what it looks like to apply His truths to your daily choices and responsibilities. Someone who won't criticize or judge you but instead stand beside you, validate your struggles, and then inspire and equip you to move through them with practical and biblically sound tips, accountability, and lots of prayer.
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This fall, I have two openings for one-on-one coaching and mentoring. This is an opportunity to work intimately together, growing closer to Jesus through Scripture resources and Christ-centered conversations so that you can get a handle on the things that trip you up. If you're ready to invest in a relationship that will point you to God and hold you there—with plenty of room for laughter, tears, doubts and questions—then I'd love to work with you one-on-one this fall.
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But as a women's author, Christian blogger, and (semi) seasoned-momma, I felt the need to actually DO something about it! So I've created a FREE Resource Library for moms just like you! In this space you’ll find a unique collection of free, easily downloadable resources designed to solve common parenting issues, add some fun back into the day-to-day routine, and provide some much-needed encouragement for a momma's heart.
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Psst! If you're still not sure if these resources will be helpful for you, here's a few examples of what you'll find in the Resource Library:
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👉🏻 Stop Yelling! A Five-Day Guidebook for Moms
👉🏻 30 Creative Solutions to 7 Common Parenting Problems
👉🏻 20 Questions to Help Your Kids Get Along
👉🏻 Screen Time Tickets for Kids and Tweens
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    Instagram post 2071634573409955710_2005360423 In my newest book, The Cranky Mom Fix, in the second chapter we talk about recognizing our triggers that taunt that cranky "Momster" to rear her ugly head. We discuss how to pinpoint the areas we need to turn our eyes and ears toward as we start to put this beast back her in place. One way to explore this is by reading 1 Corinthians 13:1-7 and replacing the word "love" with your name. For example — Becky is patient, Becky is kind. Becky does not envy, Becky does not boast, Becky is not proud, etc. Can you recite that with confidence? Or are there maybe some areas that trip you up and give you pause? Try this yourself and then leave me a ✔️ when you've done this for yourself!
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Something strange is happening now that my girls are growing older. This weird dichotomy of emotions bubbles up within me when I see my daughters stand on stage at the year-end ceremony and hug their teachers goodbye. On one hand, I’m relieved and elated and eager to have them home on summer rest.
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Yet there’s this other hand that shows up now, and it slaps my heart in a tender space. Summer no longer means just popsicles and pool parties and wearing PJs ‘til noon. Now it also signifies change, growth, and time closing in.
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I blinked and suddenly there’s a seventh grader living in my house. Seventh grade. That’s only six years from high school graduation. Six years from your job is done here, mother woman. Peace out. How can that be?
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To read the rest of this post, click the link in my profile and choose "Featured Blog Post"
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7. You will begin to see and appreciate your children in new ways. “I have LOVED this book so far!! There are so many takeaways but one that I never expected to be so eye opening was the idea that my children are humans, too. They should be valued and respected just like I would value and respect any other human. This seems so basic, but I have realized that when I turn into a Momster, that basic truth goes completely out the window in my own brain. If I can keep that at the forefront, then I can begin to stop myself in my tracks and tame the Momster before she ever rears her ugly head.” —Rachel
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So grateful to my husband as well for his unwavering support of my writing ministry. It's not always easy having a wife/mom who's writing a book amongst all the other tasks of daily life, and this crew rocked it!
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