There are certain things I swore I’d never say to my children. Like this one.
“Don’t waste those waffles, girls. Did you know there are kids starving in Africa??”
“What?” My four-year-old crinkled her nose.
“In Africa. And all sorts of other places around the world. Even here in our own country! Not all kids get to eat as much as you do.”
“But I don’t want waffles! I wanted cereal!” My seven-year-old whined.
“Too bad. Eat the waffles. Some children are lucky if they get a bowl of rice—and that’s all they eat for the whole day. Be grateful.”
“So? Rice is healthy for you.”
Heaven help me.
I’ve been working on instilling a sense of gratitude in my kids. Lately they seem to demand entitlement, as if food and toys and iPad games are their birthright rather than a blessing. Sure, they say please and thank you, but they have no earthly clue how fortunate they are. How some children on this planet can beg pretty please with a cherry on top from dawn to dusk, but that won’t make a taco casserole appear magically on their plates.
My children won’t touch my taco casserole.
And I’ve decided there’s something wrong with that on a deeper level.
Gratitude.
True appreciation for our bounty and comfort.
It’s lost on my kids.
Why?
Probably because I haven’t sought it for them.
When I sit down to a full meal of fresh grilled chicken, roasted potatoes and buttery corn on the cob, do I see the richness on my table or am I just thinking ahead to the dishes?
If my closet looks drab and I can’t afford a Stitch Fix, do I praise God for a dozen pairs of shoes when some people have none?
When my Wi-Fi barfs for 20 minutes, do I take it as an opportunity to appreciate the other 23 hours and 40 minutes per day that it functioned just fine, or will I growl at my laptop as if it’s my God-given right to be connected?
And when my sweet husband scoops up a double dish of salted caramel truffle ice cream and sets it in front of my face as a loving gesture, do I fret over the extra calories or for once in my well-fed life can I just enjoy the indulgence as a gift many people will never, ever taste?
So my kids are ungrateful, eh? Maybe they learned it from their mother.
“Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus” (1 Thessalonians 5:16–18).
God wants us to be thankful. He wants us to pray. He wants us to rejoice. It’s no coincidence those three things are tied together. Maybe the first step to growing grateful children is joy. Take pleasure in what you have. Then pray. Stay in tune with the God who gives all good things. And this will lead to gratitude—not a forced, obligatory, what do you say, children? kind of thanks, but a genuine, natural outpouring of the faith within us.
When we really know what awesome grace God has lavished on us, we won’t be able to contain ourselves. We’ll be busting from the hairline with thanksgiving.
Wow. I don’t just want that for my kids. I want it for me, too.
“Mom, I ate my waffle. Can I have some cereal now?” My seven-year-old handed me her empty plate. “Please?”
“Yes, you may.”
“Momma?” She spread her arms for a hug.
“What, sweetheart?”
“Thank you for making my breakfast.”
“You’re welcome, my love.” I squeezed her hard. “But do you know who really deserves a thank you? God.”
“Oh, yeah!” My four-year-old piped up. “He gives us money so we can buy waffles, right, Mom?”
“He does.” I smiled.
“Well next time,” she wagged her finger, “let’s ask him for the blueberry ones. I like those better.”
{Sigh . . .} Yep.
Gratitude.
We’re still working on it.
Are you?
Blessings,
Becky
kd sullivan says
August 25, 2014 at 9:00 amHow precious it is when we learn with our children. They can be some of our greatest teachers. Keep up the good work….it is a good work for which you will be greatly rewarded.
Becky says
August 26, 2014 at 9:40 pmThey are indeed my teachers! Thanks so much for your encouragement.
Julie V. says
August 26, 2014 at 11:01 pmHave you ever heard a child talk about something, and you just KNOW that they got that from an adult, and you wonder if it was you?
I wish I could think of what my little niece was saying one time, when I wondered if she was repeating what I had said.
I can remember when I was watching a 2 year old while her mom took her infant on some errands. I asked the boy where his mom and brother went, expecting him to say, “The store.”
Instead, he responded, “She needs to get out of the house.”
I worked hard not to laugh in front of him, even if it was a very large thought for a very small boy.
I think gratitude is the same way–as you’ve said. Kids pick up on what they hear, even when you don’t know they are listening. Just as they pick up on “My mom needs to get out of the house” they pick up on an attitude of gratitude.
Thanks for your blog post.
Becky says
August 27, 2014 at 9:03 pmYes, their ears are tuned even when we least suspect it. Imagine the opportunity that gives us to praise them and instill their minds with positive things… when they’re “not really” listening!
Beth says
August 27, 2014 at 9:24 amYes, I’m guilty of this one too, Becky. I think God wired us in a way that makes it hard to be grateful. It has to be an intention we offer to God in prayer and praise each day, which in my opinion, makes it that much more precious to us and to Him. I’m seeing how my youngest isn’t necessarily ungrateful for what he has but uncooperative and a grumbler when we ask him to do something out of his usual routine. But then I thought about who he’s seeing model this attitude and my husband and I are guilty as charged! Yikes! Gotta love the way the Holy Spirit convicts and reveals! Hugs to you!
Becky says
August 27, 2014 at 9:12 pmI’ve never thought about it that way, Beth – that maybe gratitude doesn’t come naturally to us because that makes it all the sweeter to the Lord when we show it. The same could apply to so many other virtues. I do believe, though, that the more we practice thankfulness, the more likely it will pour out of us more effortlessly. Thank you for stopping here each week with your wisdom, my friend!
Shell says
September 2, 2014 at 12:26 pmI had a moment like this last week, when it really hit me in the face all the things I have to be thankful for and I know I need to stop whining about the small inconveniences.
Latisha says
January 27, 2015 at 2:25 amThat was a really fun, well said post about gratitude. Very thought provoking. It makes me wonder about the other bad habits my kids are learning from me.