Out of the mouths of babes.
“Momma, get up!!” My four-year-old climbed into my bed and yanked off my covers. “I’m hungry for my bref-kist!”
“Noooooo,” I whined into my pillow. “Come snuggle with me. I’m still tired.”
“But I’m hungry! Get up!”
“I don’t want to get up.”
“Well,” she stood on the mattress and planted two fists on her hips, “you shouldn’t have this family, then!”
Huh. If that ain’t the awful truth. You heard it here first, folks.
If you want to sleep, do not have a family.
After years of midnight baby shushing, 2 a.m. fevers, late night closet-monster slaying and 4:57 a.m. eyeballs-on-fire wake-up calls, I do believe my daughter has a point. Sleep is not for mothers. In fact, a lot of things are off limits for us moms.
If you want peace and quiet, do not have a family.
If you love clean floors and smudge-free windows, do not have a family.
If you can’t live without hot meals, lazy Saturdays, dangly earrings and the ability to process your own thoughts, then sister, do not give birth to children.
I’m telling you. You’ll never be able to eat another M&M without ravenous little sugar mongers sniffing out the goods from halfway across the house, nipping at your heels, “What do you have, Mom? What is that? What are you eating? Can I have one?” So for the love of all things Cadbury, woman, if chocolate is important to your lifestyle, then definitely DO NOT HAVE A FAMILY.
Except on Halloween. Then kids are kind of convenient, with their “oh what a cute little bumblebee, let me give you this big handful of mini Hershey bars for all your cuteness” factor. You just have to snitch from the bucket when they’re sleeping.
But if you don’t like Dum-Dums and bat-shaped pretzels, then don’t have a family.
And if you can’t stand it when your face hurts from smiling and your abs turn sore with belly laughter, don’t have a family.
If bottomless hugs and kisses aren’t your thing and you’re convinced unconditional love is overrated, then by all means don’t try to have a family.
And if you want to hold tight to who you are and never change, never stretch beyond what you think you’re capable, never surrender your time and energy and expectations, and if you’re just not a fan of trusting God in ways both ordinary and unimaginable, then please. Do NOT. Have a family.
Because family life is hard. It’s immeasurable. It’s heart-wrenching, faith-wielding, and downright beautiful.
It will require all you have and return even more.
Except for sleep. You might never really catch up on that.
So don’t have a family, ok?
It just might transform your life.
And your arms can’t possibly contain all those blessings.
“Children are a gift from the LORD; they are a reward from him” (Psalm 127:3, NLT).
Stop Yelling! A 5 Day Guidebook for Moms
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