Becky Kopitzke

Devotions for Moms

The Problem With Women’s Lib

Call me old-fashioned. I still own a paper dictionary.

Last week, my seven-year-old daughter hauled it off a shelf and leafed through the special full-color section on United States presidents. One by one she read the names of past leaders, from George Washington to George Bush (it’s an old dictionary).

Kneeling beside her sister, my four-year-old piped up. “Why are they all boys?”

Uh. Time for a history lesson.

The problem with women's lib

“Women weren’t allowed to be presidents,” I said. “Not at first. In fact, women couldn’t even vote for which president they wanted.”

“Really?!” My second-grader’s mouth gaped open. “Ladies couldn’t vote?”

“Nope.” I shook my head. “Many years ago, ladies were not usually allowed to do a lot of things that men could do—especially if they were married.”

“Wow.” My children struggled to comprehend a world where girls weren’t equal to boys in work and play. Here in this house, one daughter loves dolls and dancing while the other flips for super heroes, dinosaurs, and monster trucks. The idea of gender obstacles is totally foreign to them.

So it occurred to me, at that moment—I’m grateful. Tremendously grateful that my daughters are living in an age when women can run for office, launch a business, go to med school, or write a blog. Thanks to the passionate efforts of generations before us, my girls can grow up to be executives, professors, scientists, or moms.

Wait, what? Moms?

Isn’t that kind of backwards? I mean, women’s rights exist to free the female from domestic life, right?

Nope. Not exactly. And that is the problem with women’s lib.

What about the woman who chooses domestic life?

Doesn’t she have just as much right to her decision as the woman who prefers going to work—and to not be criticized for it?

Despite all the good it brought us, feminism has somehow diminished the role of motherhood to a side job. If you’re “just a mom” then you’re wasting the brain God gave you. We’re told to build a career. Advocate for change. Make a difference. Impact the world! You can’t do that by changing diapers.

Oh, sweet dears. Yes, you can.

“And if anyone gives even a cup of cold water to one of these little ones who is my disciple, truly I tell you, that person will certainly not lose their reward” (Matthew 10:42).

Parents today are charged with the great responsibility to raise the next generation of loving, impassioned, God-fearing people. Every day, every hour, every lullaby, burp rag and after-school snack we spend investing in that purpose is meaningful and influential in God’s eyes.

It’s not the lesser pursuit.

I want my daughters to know they can follow whatever convictions the Lord plants in their hearts, whether that’s paleontology or parenting or both. But it’s up to me to teach them that. It’s up to you. Our current generation of women—of moms—can make a difference, together, by vowing to support rather than slam each other. And to teach our kids to do the same.

Just imagine. That could be the greatest expression of women’s rights our nation has ever seen.

Dream and believe

“Mom, do you think I could be president someday?” My seven-year-old cocked her head and looked up at me.

“It’s possible, if that’s what God has planned for you.” I reached to touch her cheek. “He made you smart. You can do a lot of things.”

My four-year-old jumped to her feet. “Can I be a super hero?”

“Yes,” I nodded. “For Halloween.”

Women’s rights do have some limits, after all.

Blessings,
Becky

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Comments

  1. I love this. To me, feminism has always meant that I was free to choose ANY path that called to me, including staying home with my baby. We really do need to stop criticizing each other’s choices and be supportive. It drives me nuts when people give off the impression that “just” being a mom isn’t enough or when people foster a sense of competitiveness that serves only to tear others down. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts!

  2. It does bug me that suddenly the choice we shouldn’t make is to be moms. But just because we thankfully have a lot of options these days, doesn’t mean we can’t choose the road of being a sahm.

    I like your response about being a superhero. 😉

  3. I agree there definitely seems to be a backlash that choosing to be a mom is a waste of your brain. When in fact it’s choice and isn’t having that choice what women’s lib should be about.

  4. You are raising some awfully smart and capable “girls-growing-fast-into-young-women,” Becky! I’m so glad that you encourage them to be all that God wants them to be–whether that’s a stay-at-home mom or a president of our country. I think you’re right about the whole women’s lib movement–sometimes it “moves” us away from embracing the woman in the way God has created her to be. Lovely and wise words, my friend!

    • I agree, Beth. Throughout changing eras, God’s design for women does not change. It’s a constant challenge to reconcile that with our modern day views and opportunities. When you have it figured out, let me know so I can share your wisdom with my daughters. 🙂

  5. Becky,
    I very much agree. I appreciate all that feminism has done in the past and appreciate some of what it does now. I do know that we have to think for ourselves about what is good, and question/counter the parts of feminism that try to make women feel guilty about wanting to be mothers, and for putting that before a career.
    I’m the middle of 7 kids and was lucky enough to have a mom that didn’t work so she could be the one taking care of all of us. She saved money so my dad’s job could pay for everything we needed and even some of what we wanted. My mom got very close to getting a bachelor’s degree, but couldn’t quite get it finished because she was so busy. She’s a smart woman, though and has taught me so much and is an example of someone who takes their freedom and uses it to build other up.
    I’m hosting a Retro Re-pin Link Part that closes Thursday at 8 p.m. ET, if you want to stop by and share a post.

    • Great idea for a link-up party, Julie! Thanks for letting me know! And thank you also for sharing your thoughts here. It encourages me to know how much you admire your mother and recognize her abilities and sacrifices.

  6. I love this post! My twins are in their last year of preschool and I’m already getting asked what I’m going to do next year when they’re in school full time. I’m so annoyed by this and I cannot tell you how many people comment on my “waste of an education” since I don’t work. I thought the whole point of the women’s lib movement was to give women more choices not take choices away.

    • True! I’m thankful for mentor moms who continued to fulfill their role as homemakers once their children were in school. They’ve taught me the value in that choice. My youngest will be in full-time school next year as well. I hope to continue working from home on my own schedule.

    • The lord has directed me to your website. I also have a bachelors degree but stay at home mum. I am from Malawi,Africa. Its really hard for people to comprehend why a graduate like me can chose to just stay at home. Am glad ive read your encouragement. I know i am in the perfect will of God. My children know mum is home when they are coming from school.

      • Welcome, Joan! Your comment blesses me. Thank you for reading and sharing your heart. Your role as a mom is of great value in God’s eyes. Blessings to you and your family today!

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